"Backtrax" and Other Stories from the Tube

I've been spending way too much time in front of the TV these days, because I know that Cinemax plays Superman II way too many times. Christopher Reeves is the total hotness, but all those awkward air fighting scenes always make me laugh till I choke on my pork rind. Also, why does Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman) have hair? He looks like he has a dead animal on his head.

They also played The Bourne Ultimatum the other day, which was good fun. Joan Allen has the part of icy blonde power-broker down pat (she did the same thing in Death Race). Of course dollops of steel-jawed Matt Damon don't hurt either.

Myx Music has this show I always enjoy. They call it Backtrax - all the songs played are late '90s... I was enjoying it until I realized they consider the songs from my high school years as "classics". This is a dead giveaway for age. The classics they played before were Michael Jackson pre-100th facelift, Madonna pre-Kabbalah, Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer.

Now they're playing the songs from my youth. It's a kick in the proverbial arse, and a reminder that despite Botox injections, liposuction, breast augmentation and the two facelifts* I've had, I am an old crone. Eww.

* Projected surgery date: perhaps sometime in 2030