Obamacized

Remember that iconic Obama image? It's gone viral. Want to be an iconic image too? Go have your fun at the Obama icon generator. Here's mine:

Got Milk?

Here's the training team's alpha she-male copping a self-feel while posing in front of a mysterious room at SM City, Cebu. Dreams may come true! Someday you and I might wake up and find Paulie doing the big bajiggle on the Ops floor. He says he's doing the hormones this year. I couldn't help myself.

Honestly, what goes on behind the blue shades? Are the lactating mothers whipping out their boobies and feeding the hungry? Strangely, we heard no baby-wailing. Shouldn't there be crying babies here? It's all very mysterious. I wanted to go in to see for myself, but sometimes the mysteries are better than reality.

Socially Yours

I had an interesting conversation about sociopathic tendencies with my friends last week. Beneath our composed exteriors lie shades of sociopathy. I ended up wondering if that's what keeps us together as friends - our mutual dislike for society. Or the society we were in, really. (High School counts as a society.)

Oh, I'm not a sociopath. I just have minor tendencies, I think. Being a full-fledged sociopath entails having absolutely no conscience, single-minded resolve to subdue, and the ability to lie your way through life. I can't lie to save my life, and have a guilt-complex to boot. Sociopaths do not like people - to them, people are instruments, means to an end. The thing is, sometimes people bring it on themselves. It's really easy not to like people, society as a whole.

How do you contain the bile, when you see the stupidity that goes on in Friendster, for one thing? I have always maintained my distance from that site, having seen countless millions go glazed-eyed and succumb to the glitter, and photo ops, and the stupid comments, the adding people you barely know.

This is why I like Facebook. It just doesn't feel the same. As elitist as that seems, Facebook feels like a site for people who have more to do than worry about testimonials and glittery looking profiles.

Furry and Yellow

I've been watching the Australian Open since last week. Particularly blown away by the Venus Williams - Carla Suarez Navarro match. The Spaniard seriously took my breath away - at first because she was just so... un-telegenic. As unfair as that sounds, we have to face it. A lot of tennis players have the cuteness factor going on. Even Serena manages to sway our attention from her profile by wearing outlandish outfits. But Carla looked like a geek. The overbite, untamed curly hair, tennis outfit straight outta the eighties... makeover screaming to happen. And then I got past her looks, because with a backhand like hers, you just tend to forget how she looks and focus on how she plays. True talent. Her backhand is a bitch, and she can hit winners like no one's business.

She had the lean, athletic Venus running all over the court, making errors. It was like watching the tennis version of The Karate Kid. Absolutely amazing. I was clapping my ass off. It's not everyday you get to see Venus Williams get her ass handed to her, but Carla Suarez Navarro did it, and she did it well.

This is why I like tennis. Beneath its veneer of civilization, it's like watching two gladiators trying to kill each other. With a little yellow ball.

PS: Why is Federer so grim? The last time I saw him tripping on court, he was relaxed, happy and looking like a blast from the past at Wimbledon 2008. It's the Australian Open and he's not world number one anymore. Now he just looks so... tired. He needs a facial.

Clockwork Orange

Lame, utterly useless story of the day: for some crazy reason I've been eating oranges for the past two weeks. Have to say they really are a great way to kick the nasty nasals - you know, when you've got that scratchy, drippy feeling in the back of your throat and the next day it turns into a runny nose. It's a newfound love! It's like opening your eyes and realizing that the thing you've ignored is actually a gem. Or something. Did that make any sense?

I've only just learned how to really, properly eat an orange. I never used to "eat" them, I'd just suck all the juice out and throw the pulp away. Looking back it's all so wasteful. I take pride in only leaving the rind and pips. They're really yummy. I'm having oranges in my future home 24/7; I think a fruit basket would be a colorful decoration. Not that I'm the best decorator on earth, but yeah.

So, an average orange has 62 calories and a ton of vitamins. Apparently you can burn of 62 calories just by sitting in a chair for 25 minutes. Yay!

Headline Porn

What a glorious way to begin the year. Look what just dropped from the sky. Headline Porn coming up, piping hot and so effing fresh!

Isn't it wonderful how they just give you ointment for the sores? Why not give band-aids for open heart surgery? I love it. What we need are Haz-Mat suits and a few tons of Clorox, not to mention regular baths to clean this up. Not just ointment, sheesh.

Pancreas of Evil

I know this is late but Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer, and he's had it for about a year now. Not Miss Vida Boheme! Miss Vida should not be going the way of Rudy Fernandez. Not the queen of the Manhattan Bohemes. Who else could feel like Miss Jayne Mansfield in a $50 broken down rattletrap of a car?

Click here to read Barbara Walter's interview with her. Seeing that fabulous self wasting away is just so sad. Wishing only good things for you, Miss Vida.

Lunchtime T & A

It may sound prudish, but shouldn't shows like these be confined to off-peak hours when the children are sleeping? Yes, you say? Not in this country. This is the intro to Wowowee's Pera o Bayong segment, airing daily at high noon. Somehow, with the children at the dinner table, it just feels like we're exposing them to smut and soft-core porn too early in the day.

I sometimes feel like Wowowee should start handing out condoms, tissues and small sachets of Jergens to the audience. Because, y'know - it's just needed. It's lunchtime! Come and get your daily diet of tits and ass! Look at all the horny people in the audience. And the grandmas taking pictures. Why is no one protesting? I see children! This is family time!

It's like being at the Bikini Open with the family. Is anyone beyond feeling numb anymore?

If this is the mental diet we're feeding the children, woe betide the next generation. We'll end up raising a new order of STD-ridden, promiscuous whores. I know my generation was supposed to be the shocker of the millennium, but we're young innocent virgins compared to the future by-products of whoever watches this daily. This is just all sorts of wrong.

Blech

Speaking of movies, I can't wait until that blasted MMFF is over and we're not force-fed stupid Tagalog flicks anymore.

The last time I watched a Tagalog flick was that Judy Ann-Piolo starrer, and I came out of it emotionally scarred. Never again. I can't do it. It's just... stupid. Spoonfed, sugary and stupid. Yes, we have some saving graces, but those are blips on a radar clogged with ridiculous wastes of time. Case in point: Ang Tanging Ina N'yong Lahat. Another case in point: Iskul Bukol. When will this insanity end? Do we really need to sit through another round of shitty, meaningless schlock with aging comedians who have the same schtick?

If it's not some "comedy" it's something about an ugly person who ultimately becomes beautiful and lives happily ever after. Why do ugly people never live happily ever after in Tagalog movies/soap operas? Ugly people are only good for a laugh. We are slaves to the Disney myth: everyone must be happy, pretty and start singing.

I don't see it as snobbery. It's not colonial mentality. It's about being entertained. Entertain me! I am the hungry blood-crazed mob, and Ayala Cinema 1 is my Colosseum. They make us pay through the nose to watch flicks, and I'd like to get my money's worth, thankyouverymuch. Yes, I know. But I am a brainwashed consumerist (not proud of it, not ashamed of it either) and I make no pretensions. I don't really need the "deep" movies, the elegiac, prosaic, noirish stories that are spun - although I do enjoy some of them. Movies are an escape from the dreariness of real life; I like to forget about reality for a while.

I've seen some really good Tagalog movies - the Brocka's, Bernal's, even the Vilma Santos as Darna movies... but lately, they're all cut out of the same cookie-cutter, boring, predictable mold. Which is why Tagalog flicks just don't do it for me.

Movie Checklist of '09

You already know I've set aside some clams for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Seems like 2009 is going to be a banner year for great movies, because here's some of the potential hitz that are going to make me a lot poorer in the pocket this year:


X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE

Since I'll pay to watch anything with a shirtless and wet Hugh Jackman, this is a no-brainer. The gift that just keeps on giving! Playing to type, Ryan Reynolds is in this too - as mouthy mercenary Deadpool. Plus it has Gambit! Gambit's in it! Gambit's in it! Here's me doing my little dance of joy. Finally. I'm a little disappointed that he isn't played by Josh Holloway, but I'll save the griping until after the movie.


Watchmen

I'm watching this, just because it looks so darned cool. Except for the guy with the cape, who looks sorta like Hawkeye which is kinda gay.



And then there's this - they really are milking the graphic novel for all it's worth, but another example of being too cool to miss out on.

There's so much more that'll be fun to watch: Revolutionary Road, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Terminator: Salvation, Australia (hey, Hugh Jackman's in it and he's shirtless again). Hooray for 2009!

Ear Candy

Todays Singles

This'll be my travel soundtrack. Hate to say it, but some things shouldn't be postponed. If the weather cooperates, I really will have to drag my unwilling ass back to La Sugbu soon. Ah well.

At any rate - my Mnemosyne is currently chomping on Lady GaGa's Poker Face, and Taylor Swift's White Horse. The former has me dancing around, the latter has me dreamily staring out of the window at the pouring rain, it's so heart-rending.

Holding On

Is there a cure? I don't want to do this! I have separation anxiety - if I were an editorial cartoon, I'd be a screaming little piglet with my nails (hooves?) dug into the island of Negros, kicking wildly while two hands drag me back to the island of Cebu.

I think this vacay has been way too long. I usually don't have a problem going back to big ol' La Sugbu, but it seems to be so hard right now. George says she gets it everytime she has to head back to work. I think it's because we end up getting used to life back home (it's way too easy!) and having to shift gears again and go back to what was is just so... tiresome.

Still, I have words of wisdom from Mishka, PS's resident socialite: just "drag yourself to the office and convince yourself that you love your job."

So that's what I'm going to do. Soon. I think.

The weather's certainly a great excuse to put it off. It's been so windy! It's dark and gloomy and I love it. I've always loved the cold. Georgie and I took a nice ambling walk through the streets of our hometown just a few hours ago. At 10PM. The great thing about Dumaguete is you can walk around at that time of night and not have people flagging you down, thinking you're prostitutes. It's also great to have relative peace from horny heckling taxi drivers. It's very relaxing. And therapeutic. Mostly because of the wind, really. And the fact that everyone's at home in bed watching Dyosa and other inane BS that gets shown on ABS-CBN.

I'm going to miss Dumaguete. I don't wanna goooo!

A Hairy New Year

Bet you don't know that this guy played Johnny Cash. Joaquin Phoenix and all his hair would like to greet all of you a Happy 2009! I may not look like he does right now, but inside, I feel the way he looks. Gnarly to the maximum.

Way to go - this is my inspiration for getting thin. Even the hottest of the hot (okay, he wasn't that hot) can have slow days. Like this guy.

Maybe he's depressed?

Anyhoo, time for my yearly resolutions - which usually go down the "eff-it-all" drain - and of course top on the list is to.... drum roll... lose weight! Yes, I said this last year and I will say it every year because what the hey, it's one of the only things that I never manage to do. Not lose weight. Make resolutions, I mean. Wait, last year I resolved to eat nothing but oatmeal. That never came to fruition of course. There's a reason why oatmeal is the usual metaphor for the words "boring" and "bland". That's what it is!

But I'm learning. Goals must be SMART, after all:

S - specific
M - measurable
A - attainable
R - realistic
T - time-bound

With that in mind, I resolve to be at least 105 lbs. by April 2009 and hit the gym at least once a week. Lose the poundage! I will need to do this, or else it will be too late to stop mysefl from transmogrifying into Mrs. Potato Head.