Saturday, December 13

Not Connected

I'm tired. I woke up today and realized that I'm tired. It's a bone-deep, crushing weariness - it's like I'm numb to everything around me. Nothing is stimulating. Even grocery shopping, which is normally one of my favored pick-me-up-cheer-me-up methods of therapy doesn't seem to work. I just brushed by people milling around today, busy buying Christmas gifts, and felt detached. Maybe it's the Christmas season. Maybe it's everything. Too much time in this city deadens the soul - there's no soul anywhere to be had. There's no air to breathe.

I can't wait to go on the holiday break. I'd like fresh air, clear skies and tempura nights again. I'd like to be surrounded by simplicity. I miss being young. I miss my friends. I miss the innocence of waking up and knowing your future was ahead of you.

Sometimes I feel I think too much and do too little. It's my nature - I look before I leap, and sometimes I spend too long looking. I really need to pull myself up by the bootstraps, give myself a kick in the bum region and start getting with the program.