Beauty is a Pain

I went and got my eyebrows threaded the other day, for the first time in my natural born life. My roommate said it didn't hurt, that it tickled. Lies! It hurt like a bitch. It's like pulling out your own pubes by clumps! I had no idea what I was in for. Sob.

Threading, according to my trusty Google:

Threading is a proven age-old form of facial hair removal practiced in India, China and Middle East. The procedure uses a 100% cotton thread which is twisted and pulled along the skin surface of unwanted hair, lifting hair directly from the follicle. As the facial hair is removed, only a slight pinch is felt.

A slight pinch? Slight?!?! The lady to my right getting her hair re-bonded was laughing. Laughing. That salon was a torture chamber for all of fifteen minutes. Look at the redness afterwards. I had to take a picture, it was excruciating.


I think she did a pretty good job but I'm not sure I want to do this again. It beats plucking because it's all over after a few, but God, the pain. Why do women do this to themselves. I will never understand why we're supposed to be the hairless, perfectly coiffed and scented ones... all we did was offer Adam that darned apple. This punishment, and having to give birth as well? Unfair.

Old Farts

Okay, now we know they really are serious about it. The Sex and the City Movie is coming to a theater near you in 2008! Yeah, unless they change their minds and decide to go straight to DVD. This will probably be one of those summer "blockbuster" things... Carrie Bradshaw will suddenly reveal herself as a fashionable spy and Mugatu's henchwoman. Right. I'm raving.

Here's SJP and Chris Noth from what is supposed to be the first publicity still from the SATC movie. Hmm. The magic doesn't seem to be there - that Eiffel Tower handbag looks like a heavy weapon for potential burglars. And the getup looks like it's trying too hard. Age is a bitch. I don't like.

I still think it's too late for resuscitation and has a 70% chance of being a flop, but hey those ladies need to make a living! More money for La Prairie cosmetiques and dead baby enzymes for youthfulness.

All that aside, I really did love the show, so I will probably watch this thing even if it's a mess.

Fruits and Fruits

Look at all that beauty. Lansones, biznatches. 'Tis the season! Get yours while you can!

All week I did nothing but buy bags of this, eating it until my fingers turned brown and smelled like tree sap. I look like a nicotine freak. Yes, yes, I know. Not supposed to be pigging out, but this is Vitamin C and non-fat! Good, guiltless fun. Err, I think. How many calories does this fruit have, anyway?

Fruit is good carbs and blah blah blah, whatever, it's just nice to take something home that's sweet and eat it and not feel guilty. This is my current snack of choice. Yay, lansones.

There's this legend about the fruit, how they used to be really poisonous until a good fairy came down and pinched the fruit. It made the fruit go sweet, the townspeople happy, and explains why everytime you open up the fruit there are pinch marks inside. Say what you want about Filipinos, we've come up with some pretty damn good notions of why things are the way they are.

Speaking of fruits, guess who just got himself a pass to visit all the countries on the map to the right?

Chucky.

That's fifteen countries - Austria, Belgium, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Iceland, Italy, Greece, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain and Sweden. Watch out, Mykonos! Chucky will infiltrate and be infiltrated! Err... yeah! He'll take pictures, of course.

Aargh!!! I'm so damn jealous! I'm so happy for that ho, and so frigging jealous for myself! Grrrrrrr! At this rate I'll be the proxy person who gets left behind to man the fort. Illi left, then Georgie left, now Chucky is leaving! How can I be the token fag hag if I'm all alone? I'm so angry right now. I refuse this responsibility. Keep your keys to the Philippines. My passport seriously needs some action. The thing just sits on its side, not getting any stamp love. Anybody want to buy me a ticket to somewhere? Timbuktu, anything. I'll go.

Flooch

Hmm. Businessmen are so silly. You know he was loving the Carter briefs and the Johnson's baby oil. I think everyday life is now so bizarre, we end up looking for crazier ways to have fun.

If I had that much money I'd spend my time taking pictures of myself fronting various attractions of the modern world. Happily watching some crappy stripper boys would be the last thing on my mind.

Headline Porn

You know, this one is wrong on so many levels. I can't even begin. Couldn't help the bizarre giggle that escaped though. Oh, please. You know you did it too.

Show and Tell

Flashbulbs, glitz and glamour! Check out Elleser Galleta, up and coming NYC photographer esquire and his new show, if you're in NYC from September 30 - October 13, 2007. Let's give this girl some love, because he is one of the most talented and driven people I have ever had the pleasure to be with. I'm especially proud of him for coming so far. You know I've always believed in you, boyfriend.

Free cheese cubes and flutes of Dom Perignon!

You know our fates were intertwined the moment you brought that darned Encyclopedia to biology class, Ill. I'm proud of you.

Click here.

Excuses and Alibis

Where have I been, you ask? Partying! AHAHAHAHAHAAH! So.. uh.. yeah. Right, that and vork, vork, vork. Anyway! Here's evidence of the party that went down last week:


Yeah. The children of the ... um... the children. Partying. Like there was no tomorrow. Big props to my sweet i-stateside cousin Mariel for picking out my top. This was VicFel's going away party (that's the girl wearing a silver cherry pendant right next to moi) and everyone wanted to make sure he knew what the heck he was leaving behind when he jumps on that darned bus.

And there's Chuck and me, feeding the camwhorational frenzy, as usual. Had a great time that night, didn't spend a single red cent. It's always nice when someone else picks up the tab.

This week left me way too exhausted to even go online anymore. But all that has passed and your Main Wagger™ is back. Again. For I don't really know how long... hey it's not like I'm paid to come on here and write... okay people, that's a hint. Yes, I'm a starving artiste - I like money too.

I gotta get me a PayPal account. *toddles off*

A Headline Porn Eraption

See Erap. See Erap go to court. See Erap convicted. Looks like he finally got the roughest end of the shittiest shit stick. Yes, it's justice. Still, it feels like we kicked a dog when it was down. I suppose we should remind him not to pick up the soap... I'm not going into details about his story because I already wrote about it. Buy your weekly copy of MetroPost, you cheapskates! We need to feel the love.

Not in Dumaguete? You guys know where to look for more details.

Mascot Porn

Here's dorm-ho VicFel giving the hotness that is Will Devaughn the kissy-kissy. I count this as porn - technically Will Devaughn shills for McDonalds, so he's a mascot. I know. Grasping at straws. Slow news week.

Cheeseballs and Hokum

Backstreet Boys - Anywhere for You

Because I can, biznatches. Because I can.

Blah

Other than the Manny sighting, this week has been blah. I got myself published in yesterday's Cebu Daily News, but it's been a slow news week. Even Ang Playboy has failed to cheer me up and no Headline Porn™ in sight.

The one bright - if you can call it that - spot in this week is my accidental hot pot inferno. I can't find a picture of what I had on the interweb so if you're not Filipino or you haven't been here and lived in a dorm you won't know what it looks like. Basically it's cheap and you plug it in and put water in it and it boils. Great for cooking instant noodles.



Anyway I'd filled it halfway with oil so I could deep fry some shrimp tempura as lunch, and ended up leaving it alone too long. When I got back, the whole thing was smoking and smelled like burnt plastic. Hmm. Then I took the cover off and then this weird *pop* happened, and the whole pot was engulfed in flames. Apparently the oil inside was too hot.

Made in China!

Oh, well. I know, I know, shouldn't have used it to fry things.. blah blah blah...

I think I'll just buy myself a new one. You can't be Pinoy and live away from home if you don't own a hot pot. Made in China. P135 at your local UniTop.

Celebrity Sighting, 01

Pacquiao sighting alert! I saw Manny P. yesterday. He was jogging past all by his lonesome, rocking some hardcore grey sweats - couldn't tell if it was No Fear Gear (which he hawks, endlessly) and a knit cap. First thought: wow, I'm looking at a famous person. Second thought: man, he's tiny. Third thought: where are his bodyguards and the paparazzi?

I couldn't get his picture, so short of running after him in turquoise slingback heels screaming "Manny! I want your picture!" I decided to take a picture of where he passed. Because, y'know, it's for posterity. I know. I'm a freak.

I guess it's a good thing Abby and I happened to be doing a breakfast at IT Park (I haven't seen that girl in ages. She got thinner. Curses!).

So yes, the newsbits are true and Manny's in La Sugbu doing his daily morning workouts in IT Park. Except he's going back to the US - his coach keeps bitching about rabid fans taking pictures and stuff. Well what did he expect? This is La Sugbu, people here love to gawk, gawk, gawk. Plus, his ward is the Princess Di of Philippine boxing, for crying out loud.