Thursday, June 7


I loved Thundercats back in the day. Cheesy violence, running cats, eye-makeup. Whee! Thundercats, ho! Now they're making a movie about Thundercats? It's a cartoon! The premise is horrible for crying out loud. Catty people go to some earth-like planet to fight Mumm-Ra, a horrible, evil mummy. Hollywood and the great big brain drain. Where's the originality anymore. Who're they going to pick to star in this stinker? Tom Cruise as Cheetara. Samuel L. Jackson as Lion-O. Michael Jackson as Mumm-Ra. This is going to be sooooooo good. *Cough* Can't wait for the pantyhose and striped buttcheeks.

In other news, word on the street has it that He-Man has been optioned as well. Apparently, they're going to shoot it the way 300 was shot. Hmm. Maybe. Only if they bring in his sister She-ra and her winged unicorn! I wanted to be She-ra so bad. Look at that outfit. And that crown. Flowers, a good kind heart, and a flying unicorn! Stardust, sequins, princess of power! It's my inner fag, I just know it. Manifesting itself when I was but seven.

This whole movie thing is just ridiculous. He-man? Thundercats? How in heck are they going to pull this all off, I wonder. I'll scoff now but if the trailers rock, maybe I'll watch it. Maybe not. Why can't they just leave classics alone? Up next, a Captain Planet movie? Teenagers with elemental rings, Captain Planet in a green thong, flying around picking up garbage. Shaking hands with Leonardo di Caprio. Driving a hybrid electric car into the sunset. You know you love it.