Bollocks

Some congressman-politico from some province got caught with sacks of rice he was allegedly giving away to would-be voters. There’s this lady gubernatorial candidate giving away free medicine. Yet another candidate was giving out school supplies at some rally that she “didn’t know anything about” which was crazy because she was right there in the thick of things holding a microphone. Clear as day. Caught on camera. GMA’s 24Oras keeps flashing the whole passage in the bylaws that state none of this should be happening, and Mike Enriquez is all tut-tut, shaking of the head. Then they give these pussy interviews with said people who of course play the denial game. “Oh no, I’ve been wanting to give them medicine for sooo long. These people are needy and need my love. Has nothing to do with politics. It’s not vote-buying at all.” Its bullshit. We know it, they know it, but we hate confrontation so we do innuendo instead. The wink-wink, poke-poke, nudge-nudge game. Why does no one ever really come out and just say it? You be doin dat vote-buyin shizz, dawg! Fo shizzle! Dayum. That shizz is wack!

Oh, English? Okay. You're buying votes, you pigs! Capitalist scum! Cheating bastards, may your pizzles rot!

Keeping it real. I’m keeping it real.

Ah, election. The fun never stops. They’re slinging that mud but good, aren’t they? Snide comments and general fingerpointing. I love the scratchy old footage they dug up on Erap in all his wristbanded glory, making the gambling rounds. Isn’t it great seeing him on the telly again? Exhorting us all to fight corruption, no less, when he’s supposed to be in jail for doing the very same thing he’s professing against. What in bloody hell. That man has some nerve. I love me some Erap, but the guy really should just let go. It’s over. They’re using you. Must’ve gotten some time-off from the pokey for being a good prisoner. Yes, because it’s so hard being imprisoned in a house where you can cook, watch TV and get visits from the hoity-toity. For all the issues I’ve got concerning Korea, at least they had the guts to hang their own higher-ups. We give ours a slap on the wrist and let them hang around and dabble in even more politics. Eh. And all we do is picket. Picket, picket. Wave poorly made signs. Mill around like aimless sheep with megaphones.

We have no balls.

It’s general nastiness all around. Anyone seen that commercial they did on the vice-mayor of Cebu? Hilarious. YouTube it sometime – they portray him as a puppet who’ll jump off the building at the current mayor’s request, and very thoughtfully include an animated shot of him falling to his death. Poor guy. He was on the news. Said it was a “low blow” and “unprofessional.” Blah, blah, blah. Here we go again with the non-confrontation. I want to see the hair pulling catfights, dammit! Fire and brimstone. Hair-pulling bitchfests!