Tuesday, June 3

It's Called Estrogen

I am a bloated, hormonal, pimply mess. I feel like a whale. I probably look like a whale. It's like I'm high school all over again, except I have to drag myself to work everyday.

This is how it always turns out. I feel fine, and like I actually lost a little, and then two weeks later - BAM. Pudge munchkin time, and my body seems to have expanded in every direction. It's that time of the darned month and I just need to finally get on the rag and pop my monthly Dolfenal, but my body's betraying me by refusing to just let go of bloat season.

I know I keep whining about being pudgy, but this is a new low. I actually feel like I can't breathe... I think I can hear the lady saying "dyspepsia 'yan!" in a bossy, know-it-all voice, and maybe I should go get the medicine for dyspepsia but I don't know what it's called and I probably will sleep it off anyway speaking of which I'm running on two hours of sleep and about two slices of pizza, which is bound to go straight to my hips again because being part of the training team turns you into a huge vacuum for food and you'll learn to just inhale everything as you jaunt from food place to food place easing stress and mental acrobatics by stuffing your mouths.