Chaos

The better part of my (dubious) adulthood has been spent avoiding the issue of marriage. Now I'm paying the price for my ignorance.

I know absolutely nothing about what has to be done to make it happen. This is a serious matter when the M word looms over the horizon. I'm stuck watching it loom and I know it's going to crash over me like a wave of the hyperbole being spouted at this very moment because there seems to be no way to describe the fear and the utter panic.

Three blind mice. Three blind mice. See how they run. It's this way, chaps. *Thud*

That didn't even make any sense other than to showcase the fact that I am groping my way through mysterious territory. The paperwork is terrifying. The requirements and the fees and the celebration and the planning - I have no one else to blame but myself for procrastinating and putting the whole thing off. I think I may need one more year to do this.

Why does it have to be so much work? Why does it have to be me? Why am I even doing this? Is true love worth all the financial, physical, mental and emotional upheaval? They make it look so easy. Movies lie! Easy is not a word, it is an impossibility!

Maybe I should watch The Wedding Planner for inspiration. The lamest thing ever. I'm grasping at straws. This is not who I am. I do not know the girl in the mirror.