Sunday, August 24

What does it all mean?

So now the world knows I'm getting married ("world" being my workplace). I have personally never had so much congratulations in my life, I got congratulated less when I graduated fifth honorable mention. Truth! (yes, elementary allowed me to graduate with the honors they give to students so their parents won't get mad at the establishment... I keed, I keed. It's great, eh? )

Anyway, congratulations. What does it really mean when they congratulate you for getting married? Why are they issuing congratulations? I've been mulling it over, and here are some possible hidden meanings:

1. Congratulations on being brave enough to shackle yourself to one single person for the rest of your life, world without end, ad infinitum.

2. Congratulations! You've officially gone nuts.

3. Congratulations, you've managed to sink your hooks into a human being and actually managed to convince the human being that you're worth staying with forever.

4. Congratulations, this is a feat that no ordinary mortal can achieve.

5. Congratulations, you've avoided old maid status.

6. Congratulations - we never thought it would happen.

7. Congratulations, I never thought you'd do this before I would.

8. Congratulations, you're not going to be lonely!

9. Congratulations, you can now have sexy times without skulking around and denying it!

10. Congratulations, I'm happy for you.

All in all, it's very weird to get congratulated. Is marriage an accomplishment after all? It's just strange. I don't mean to sound like an ungratefully paranoid brat, but seriously - sometimes I just wonder.


illicracker said...

My choices are 4, 5, 8 and 9. You are full of silliness you know that. Now I want to see some pohotograps. Wouldn't it be funny if I start crying when I see your fictures? My bestfriend in the whole world is getting hitched. Whoa! I was not expecting it at all. Here I thought we would be single and fabulous foreva! But I guess I was only speaking for myself. I don't know what to give you...a high five?

Dominique said...

11. Congratulations! - Now I feel sorry for the hordes of admirers who thought that they had a chance.

12. Congratulations! - When are we going to hear the pitter-patter of little feet?