Saturday, February 16

Hemp Rope + Ceiling Fan

This blog has been dormant for some time, and I don't necessarily hate myself for it.

The events in my very ordinary life seem to have coalesced, making for one very hectic, messed-up, busy, tiresome existence. This is why I tend to stay away from change. Change is tiresome. Adjusting can be a bitch. I thought change would be great for me, what the heck, take the next step and get a little more responsible. I now have a buttload of responsibility. Nothing compared to the great trifecta (Ronan/Jet/Darwin), though. I just have never had so much to do and think about at once.

The fun thing about being a trainer: nothing is confirmed until it's confirmed. I suppose that's even more fun if you're a whirligig of adaptability like Paulie (who wants to be known as the sexiest tranny on the fourth floor of the SkyRise building). Not exactly fun if you're me. I tend to like planning ahead, and if the plan gets disrupted and then disrupted again, I get tetchy.

If there's anything I've learned in the past few months, it's the value of prioritizing. Urgent tasks. Tasks that can be put off. Procrastinating tomorrow.

Still, I'm thinking this is a good exercise in patience and being "ready" for anything. Good for the soul. Uh huh. Mindsets. I've learned not to have a mindset because I may have to get another mindset before the week is through, and then develop yet another one when the week finally ends. Frankly, it drives me crazy. And I get scared of turning into what Paulie calls a "spontaneous lass". I like spontaneity, in short, sweet bursts. Not week-long whirlwind... I already feel like I need a straitjacket.

I really don't like not having a mindset. I think it makes life confusing.

Maybe it's because I'm finally going to get to handle my first class, and the strain of preparing for it, is taking its toll. I'm happy I get to work with Ellice, who is a client-spec diva.

So now all I have to wake up to is work, work, and even more work. I think about work when I'm at home. I have to go to work even if it's the weekend. I like my work, but too much of a good thing is... too much. I feel like it's all I sleep and eat and breathe, and right now, thinking about seeing Asiatown's IT Park makes me want to blow chunks.