Wag Your Wing-Wang

We're Leaving

2010-04-10T14:52:00.004+08:00

I've packed my bags and am moving again. Shall write about my withdrawal symptoms from the black hole known as Facebook. Will update you guys with the new URL, haven't quite thought it up yet.

Update: Here it is. http://therandomplanggana.blogspot.com/ or click HERE.

The Free Clinic

2009-12-20T23:32:00.005+08:00

No Avatar in 3D for me today. Had to take Horace to the hospital, his optical drive had an allergic reaction to Windows 7.

More proof of my innate psychosis: when faced with a choice of dumping Horace the Dell in favor of Horace II the Asus, I realized how much I had actually formed an attachment within a short amount of time. Horace had slept beside me; I'd come home to him, and he was dying to see my hometown. How could I abandon him, even if I do have the option to within 7 days from purchase?

He fought so hard for my attention, too. It was Dell vs. Asus and it took a long time for me to make a commitment. I guess I really am committed - I looked at both and thought that for all the alternate unit had to offer, I was now with Horace till his motherboard conks out. To the bitter end.

All's well that ends well; Windows 7 is still ironing out the kinks, after all.

Also, I have to say that Abby was right - it's incredibly convenient having someone who works for Dell be within shouting distance.

Avatar will have to wait until tomorrow - I'll go after work. My first time to watch a movie in 3D! I wonder what it'll be like.

Ferrous II

2009-12-18T11:20:00.002+08:00

I. Am. So. Sold.

Could May 2010 be any further away?! Argh!

If they sold advance tickets to this shindig I'd already be clutching mine to my chest. The trailer is the coolest thing I've seen in a while, although they really shouldn't have made Tony Stark's Expo look like an MTV Video Awards side-show. That's a small gripe. I just want to scream at them to finish it dammit, I wanna seeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

I need to breathe. And I also need to find out who Whiplash is and what he means.

PS: I love me some Don Cheadle, but he just seemed a little too serious. I think Terrence Stamp nailed the character in the last movie.

Introducing Horace

2009-12-17T14:17:00.003+08:00

I would like to make a formal announcement - I have begotten myself with a new tech assistant and am saying goodbye to the sordid, rancid, chaotic world of internet cafes. Actually, that's the explanation for my silence. I got sick of internet cafes, decided to just let Theodore do my jid figure out how to mobile blog... there you go. But, no longer! Your favorite crazed, brainwashed consumerist has returned!!

Yes, I know, I'm late for the party as usual, but better late than never.

My birthday, Christmas, Labor Day, Easter and everything else present rolled into one - meet Horace.

The antithesis to everything I thought I would never get: a black, glossy Dell. Well, it won out over the others, and eventually won me over, considering the only reason I didn't really want to get a Dell was because I didn't like the logo. It grew on me.

Horace of course, will ensure my eventual addiction to Facebook, more ridiculous rants from this blog, and the return of the much suppressed Headline Porn!!! Yes!!

And no more watching wrinkly old women pushing down their blouses to show cleavage to random strangers in Europe. No more retards screaming down the house, playing God knows what. (is it me, or is the youth just getting stupider?)

Me is happy.

Mar Roxas FTW!

2009-09-22T14:32:00.002+08:00

" The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. I mean, look what happened with Nixon; no one wanted to fuck him, so he fucked everyone."
- Samantha Jones, Sex and the City

Blah blah blah blah blah, Noynoy, blah. I do not get the political ruckus that's going on over this guy. Mar Roxas had to step aside for this?

Using the rather fresh memory of your mother's death to get you into Malacañang is tacky. Other than looks, what does this guy have going for him other than a famous last name and parents whose deaths made headlines? This guy vs. Mar Roxas? And Mr. R had to step aside just so he could run? I was ready to have Korina as first lady, no matter how biznatchy people say she is.

This is crap. If I have to vote for someone who has a platform that's still being made, I'd rather that someone be cute. Not this... person. Our political system sucks.

Booksmut™ (part deux)

2009-08-31T13:52:00.003+08:00

Here's the latest addition to my nightstand, courtesy of Powerbook's super awesome booksale! Good deal, indeedy. This was purchased to address my lifelong fascination with men and the flap of skin that causes psychiatric stress and triggers disorders, paranoias and general insanity. If only they had "Living with Boobs: The Inside Story."

Booksmut™

2009-08-31T13:17:00.003+08:00

These are the moments that make life worth living. What book defines you?

Ninja Turtles

2009-08-22T15:05:00.003+08:00

Another one I should've uploaded a few weeks ago - taken during my visit to the Mactan Island Aquarium. You can read more about it HERE. (too lazy to copy/paste everything!)

Chicken 24/7

2009-08-22T14:41:00.008+08:00

Guess who got caught giving some love, reverence and adoration to the inventor of the greatest thing on earth since the light bulb? In other news, KFC IT Park is now 24/hours! Oh no.

Watch this space for the next two weeks - I will soon change into a bloated whale. Please pray for me.

Anyway, here's to the KFC chicken recipe. And the third greatest thing on earth since the KFC chicken recipe? KFC chicken gravy. It's the devil. All hail the Colonel!

To Know You... Is to Love You

2009-08-10T13:50:00.001+08:00

It's that time of the week where you get to pick your song! This one is my Monday song - happy Monday everybody. Don't fall in love.

Photos I Never Got Around to Posting Up: July Edition

2009-08-10T11:10:00.007+08:00

Only a number of people (count including myself, Illi and Chucky: 3) are going to get the meaning of some of this, but here goes nothing.

Taken on the my last visit to Dumaguete, city of enchantment and the F_ _ _ H _ _ C _ _ _! Fill in the blanks, they still exist! In the same exact spot of the same exact wall of the same exact university that co-exists with the University we all know and have wonderful memories of. Love, peace and chicken grease.

Headline Porn sighting. Just goes to show we are no longer ideal marriage partners because of excessive skills in the household, or because of our inbred predisposition to being caretakers/slaves; we are now ideal marriage partners because of our internal organs. Now it really is a meat market.

Saw this canister and couldn't resist taking a picture. Here's my idea of giving back to the masses: little bottles of rugby tied up with a big red bow, given to street kids on Christmas Day. We try, folks. Something to keep the little jitterbugs warm at night, ey? With matching plastic bags. It'll be like giving the little match girl matches. Fine, it's my contribution for the betterment of our peoples. Offhand, the only other idea I have is to round them all up and neuter them for free. Seriously, I think the government should spend for sterilisation. These guys just breathe, eat and propagate.

The CD-R King Files

2009-07-20T15:33:00.005+08:00

It's been a while but here's some of the latest insanity at my mecca of choice - CD-R King. They've outdone themselves this time.

Yes, that's a USB massager. Essentially you stick it in your pc and use it to massage your... neck. Or back. Presumably these are areas you can reach. When are they getting some adult CD-R King doodads? This is a no-brainer. Once you have a handle on the vibration stuff, the rest will follow. You know the ladies will thank you for it.

Here's another gem from the store that has it all - a mini electric fan you can.. you guessed it, stick in your USB port. Genius! Now you can look like a Mariah Carey album cover when you're webcamming for your life! Who needs a gigantic blower? This is the shizznitch indeedy. I gotta get me one of those. I need it for dramatic effect.

Work!

2009-07-20T14:50:00.005+08:00

To quote my revered Michael K, what is with the "girl-you-so-artsy" trend? Lady Gaga does it best (despite Beyonce's tranny-fueled efforts) and now Ciara seems to have jumped on the bandwagon as well. Here's her ode to swish - it certainly sounds like a gay anthem. Work!

Am not sure if I like it or detest it, but the video does have its moments. Like the perverted Macarena she does while squatting like a strip club hooker working hard for the money. Well, the girl can rock some pretty insane outfits indeed.

This has shades of the late Herb Ritts. Maybe it's the enormous Goodyear tires. Janet Jackson's "Love would never do without you" video had tires as well... and a stark, hot landscape. I thought the giant truck would morph into a Transformer. Bummer.

At any rate, this one goes into today's playlist.

Very Bay-esque

2009-06-28T18:46:00.005+08:00

People with photosensitive epilepsy really should avoid anything that has Michael Bay's name stamped on it. With Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, they'd be foaming at the mouth and spasming on the floor within ten minutes.

This movie had so much T&A I kept expecting the guys in the theater to whip out the tissue and Jergens sachets. You could practically hear them salivating. Then again, masturbatory fantasies take a backseat because it's interspersed with robot fight scenes, rogue butt-views, and all sorts of craziness. It's like they got a budget and just threw everything they wanted to into the movie. It's cinematic afritada with lots of cheese.

For all the insanity, I actually had a pretty good time. Kinda wondered why everyone looked like they were best friends with a spray tan bottle, though. And also wondered what in the heck the movie was about.

Its one saving grace? John Turturro.

Still, its demographic is obviously for people who'd rather not think but just sit back and be entertained (um, guilty!). So if you like large blasts and explosions and crazy music, and slow-mo running, this is the movie for you. Must admit though, I would've liked to have gotten to think a little. Most movies have that advantage, at least. For this one, you'll have to forget thinking, because it really doesn't make any sense at all. Boys' wet dreams rarely do, after all.

In Memoriam

2009-06-28T18:22:00.003+08:00

Just one of the many awesome videos MJ had. Kicking myself for forgetting how sexy this one was. Loved it. Directed by David Fincher (se7en, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), it has a mysterious, sad, ultra-luxe feel that taps into my parched child-of-the-90's soul.

I want to scream like a groupie right now. And cry because Maayyykuuuuhhlll isn't around anymore. :(

UPDATE: I knew it! This video gives off the same vibe Madonna's "Bad Girl" video does - and no wonder. Looks like Fincher directed that video as well!

Updates from the Land of Work and Crazy

2009-06-28T17:56:00.002+08:00

Hello, folks. Yes, I breathe. I am also in a state of dumbstruck stupefaction: the last time I wrote on here was a month ago. Things have happened:

1. KFC IT Park is now open. The happiest place on earth, where chicken makes you fly! I was in a state of utter euphoria and wanted to have my picture taken in front of the place like a true hardcore crazy fan, but the moment passed. And I only just had my first KFC meal at the place yesterday (takeout! scandal!). This should tell you the sad state of my affairs at the moment - that I can barely spare time to actually eat and enjoy it.

2. Michael Jackson has left for the giant disco ball in the sky. I have currently been riding Channel Myx's 24-hr Jacko Express with both hands in the air, and dancing around like I'm in the throes of mingled happiness and depression. I miss him. MJ was a huge part of my youth. Illi and I had plans to perform Scream as a duet. (Yes, because we were major dorks. Still are, come to think of it.) I was just telling Alex the other day that it's a shame he died amidst so much speculation and judgement - it totally obscured his genius and the fact that we can probably sing along to 90% of his hitz without needing a copy of SongHitz. Well. I can, anyway.

3. My dearly beloved Alex has had a very merry birthday and is also a proud uncle to Karli Ann, who happened to be born on the same day he was. Joint parties! Drinks and booze on the left, milk and cookies on the right! Yay! This makes me an auntie-in-law for the first time as well. So now I am a fabulous auntie on both sides.

4. I have now finished practically three new hire classes, and that's just for this half of the year. It's exhausting and sometimes all I want to do on weekends is sleep. Or stay in my bed and just veg out.

5. Flying is the way to go. Thank you, Cebu Pacific, thank you! Nothing like bridging the time warp and traveling from Dumaguete to Cebu in just 30 minutes. I love seat sales.

All Hail the Chicken

2009-05-26T09:55:00.003+08:00

What's that in the distance? If you squint closely enough, the letters will coalesce and form a gigantic K, F and C! Yes, the chicken, the colonel and the gravy has come to IT Park, and the obesity will soon follow. I need to book an appointment with Madame Belo because I will seriously be needing the fat sucked out of me once this happens! They have placed me too close to temptation, and I know I'm going to give in sooner or later. Nooooooooooo! Help me. Tie me to the rafters and pray over me.

You know I'll be putting up a pup tent right outside waiting for le grande opening. Sigh. The chicken is too close to my heart.

It's about time, anyway. We'd been grousing for ages about why KFC hasn't made an appearance in the general IT Park region, considering Mickey D's and the great Bee have been sitting there for ages. Even Shakey's has a place. It's about time.

Yaya Porn ™

2009-05-23T14:19:00.005+08:00

No, I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. It's just work, work and more effing work, and sometimes at the end of the week I don't even feel like sitting in front of a PC anymore! But life goes on, and I've got a new obsession to share....

Introducing Yaya Porn! From the makers of saccharine trashy novelletas, brought to you in Tagalog. With such classic covers as:

Egay's Romance! Can you believe? Yaya Porn warms the cockles of my hard heart. Look how hard they work to connect with their readers. This is the stuff of dreams - the yaya version of Mills and Boon. Ay lav et.

Because no one is more important. PhP35 at National Bookstore. You know you wanna.

Vacuum

2009-05-11T01:05:00.003+08:00

Guess who made like Rhino from Bolt this weekend? Yes, little moi ended up in a water ball for a 'walk on water' adventure at the Shangri-la! Oodles of fun, guaranteed. You need to try one of these! Read more about it in Cebu Daily News - this coming Thursday's edition. Buy, buy, buy!

To Infinity... and Beyond

2009-05-10T20:30:00.002+08:00

I've never been a Trekkie before. Even so, I've always known what stuff like "Live long and prosper," warp speed, the Vulcan mind-meld, the hand sign and dirty Klingon jokes meant. This is thanks in part to the divine JZ, who eats Star Trek for breakfast... and also because Star Trek is so much a part of our pop culture lexicon, everyone knows these things.

The generation I belong to thinks William Shatner is a rotund, singing carricature who moonlights in movies such as Miss Congeniality. The fact that he used to be a sexy space cowboy does not compute and is illogical.

Not after watching Star Trek. Those were clams well spent, indeed - spent most of it gripping the edge of my seat! I actually squealed when I recognized Eric Bana as the ruthless Romulan. And now I've developed a thing for Spock. Zachary Quinto's Spock, to be precise. At any rate, the whole 2 hours of my life was well spent indeedy and I would willingly shell out even more clams to watch the whole adventure again. Han Solo who? I'm on Team Spock!

Needle in a Haystack

2009-05-02T21:40:00.004+08:00

On a lazy Friday afternoon free of work and toil, I decided to look for Sherrilyn Kenyon, eponymous author of 'paranormal romances with attitude.' I wanted to get my feet wet, so to speak. I haven't read her and before I shell out lavish amounts of cash on brand new paperbacks - I'm especially intrigued by her Dark Hunter series - decided it may be a good idea to save a little and see if Booksale had a couple of her novels. I'd see if I liked it.

Let's face it, I enjoy curling up somewhere and losing myself in a deliciously trashy story of love lost and won back. Sometimes real love is so much work. Escape is the answer.

After an hour and a half spent on my knees poking through stacks of paperbacks, I came to the realization that Booksale is probably owned by Sue 'E is for Effort' Grafton, judging from the sheer number of her books they carry. I'd found about five copies of the New Testament, a number of John Le Carre's, Belva Plains, forgettable vanity projects, Avon/St. Martin/Leisure/Harlequin/Silhouette/Penguin etc. books, but no Sherrilyn Kenyon. I'd have thought a couple of her books would've trickled down to La Sugbu, seeing as she's published a million times over. But no. Of course the one author I wanted to find is nowhere in sight. Why am I not surprised?

Or maybe the buzzards got there before I did. Curses!

If anything, at least I found a copy of T.H. White's 'The Once and Future King'. After much hemming and hawing, decided not to buy it. I'm not feeling very fantasy-esque at the moment. I need trash, glorious trash. On the cheap. New books are so expensive. Sob.

How About...?

2009-05-01T20:50:00.003+08:00

Do you? I don't.

Okay, fine. I've felt guilty over saying no quite a few times. (Shocker!) For the most part though, it's a breeze.

I can think of a few people who should use this title for their autobiography. I wonder why people have such a hard time saying no. I personally feel it's best to use that word. It's clean, it's short, it's not messy. Overlong apologies, skirting issues and refusal to face things head-on can be a complete waste of time. If you don't want to, say you don't want to. Why waste your time and the other person's time? I guess this is because we want it broken to us gently.

Can you say no without feeling guilty? Discuss.

Punyeta ang Cuticles Ko

2009-04-25T19:55:00.001+08:00

Chuck, this is for you. And they have a whole other line of beauty products. Go, Baol!

Headline Porn

2009-04-25T19:24:00.003+08:00

I really shouldn't be surprised at anything anymore, but how effed up is this? Busted for Php100 worth of meth, while all the major drug dealers roam free, crack whores do coke lines in clubs, etc.? This just made me sad.

Headline Porn™ + Booksmut™

2009-04-12T23:59:00.004+08:00

It's raining manna from heaven, because of this.

My two obsessions together in one great wonderful book? I was squealing with delight when I saw this literary gem. Booksmut and Headline Porn combined, it's a double whammy! I want this in my future library.

I had no idea this existed until a previous jaunt to Fully Booked. Truly, the treasures you find in bookstores... bookstores are my idea of heaven. The New York Post staff are geniuses when it comes to headlines. Look at that beauty. Holy Shiite!

Memories

2009-04-12T23:31:00.002+08:00

The Weakness In Me - Joan Armatrading

Friendship is knowing lines to movies, and quoting them to each other. This song brings back memories. Happy ones. You know who you are.

Tonight, Tonight

2009-04-04T19:49:00.001+08:00

Tonight, I am amused. This note is brought to you by David Pomeranz, singing his heart out...followed by God knows who or what next the DJ is going to start murdering the airwaves with. Really, in the age of downloaded music and instant playlists, radio is arguably a dying dinosaur. Maybe. So actually giving it a listen now and then just feels so quaint. I feel a little bit younger again, the way it was when I'd fiddle with knobs and position the antenna just the right way to get the best reception, listening for a favorite song-of-the-moment, finger resting on the record button, to get it all on tape. I miss cassettes sometimes. Going on auto-scan seems empty, like most forms of instant gratification do, after a while.

Tonight, I am surrounded. By boys masquerading as men, gathered around the table in the living room. They each have their own laptops, and are yelling at each other, playing some online game I refuse to comprehend. Truly, you can take the man out of the internet cafe but you can't take the internet cafe out of the man. What is it with the yelling and screaming? Ridiculous...

Tonight, I am lonely. Too much time doing nothing does that to me. So I pursue distraction. I multi-task. I write. I listen to music. I observe the gaming man-boys, caught up in their cyberworld of war and death. It doesn't work. I'm still lonely. It's another Saturday night.

Tonight, I miss you more than ever.

Epiphany on a Sunday

2009-04-01T20:21:00.002+08:00

So I went to church last Sunday. Pause. Is that you choking? I'll give you a moment.

As I was saying, I went to church last Sunday, joining the great tranny priestess Paulie and friends. Breathe deeply, it'll pass. It was timely, too; the message was about managing finances. Even the Bible has a lot to say about the recession, why people end up living on $1 a day, and how to do something about it.

The pastor started giving out statistics. Apparently, Filipinos don't save. We live in the now, and have nothing for retirement; we are suckers for a sale because we're brainwashed consumerists.

She had a point. Then again, maybe the reason Filipinos don't really save for retirement is due to the fact that we don't really expect to live that long. And if we do live that long, isn't that what lining up at SSS for your monthly dole-out is for?

I thought about it for a while, and realized - we do save. We do invest. It's just that our idea of investment is not saving. It's having children.

I can't go for a couple of days without someone asking "when are you having a baby?"Everyone is concerned for my future investment. Thank you for caring.

This is our formula for happily ever after: we give birth to it. We give birth to future nurses who will send home dollars and keep us happy. We give birth to future gay children who will never be able to get married - therefore cannot leave the fold and therefore are expected to spend their money for the family (I've met quite a few mothers who actually want their children to be gay for this very reason). It's the farmer's mentality: have more children to help you sow the crops and run the farm. It's stupid, it's selfish, and it's so unfair.

Of course we all deny it. People have so many reasons for having children.

"I don't want to be lonely in my old age."

"I have good genes and don't want to waste it."

"The condom broke."

"Having a child is sooooo fulfilling."

We don't give birth to children for the fun of it. At least, I don't believe that's the whole reason. At the end of the day, I think the super-secret, deeply-buried-in-the-subconscious reason we pressure ourselves to procreate is because we want to know we'll be taken care of when we're old and can't fend for ourselves.We give birth and wait for the return on investment.

Just last week, someone told me I "owed it to the world" to have children. Yes, she has a child. I guess she's set for life.

Php 60.00

2009-04-01T19:59:00.005+08:00

Php 60. That's what you get for Php 60. Is Ron's Grill totally kidding me? Oh, and when I raised my eyebrow and asked why they were totally ripping me off with a price like that, the cashier said it would've been Php50 if it was half the fish. What is this, trout hand-fed with organically grown baby carrots, sprinkled with a hint of basil, fried in the most virgin of virgin olive oils? Scandal! Blackmail! My neighborhood carenderia lady will faint! They only sell theirs for P20!

Of course I got grouchy. It didn't even come with a drink. Just a measly fish and a cup of rice. What utter crap. Part of the reason I ended up getting it was because I was ravenous. The other part is so I could take a picture, post it up here, and bitch about it.

This is the world we live in now. BOYCOTT RON'S GRILL! I am never going there again. Ever. Again. That place is on my permanent blacklist!

Start stocking up on canned goods, grow your own tomatoes and camote. The recession is upon us all.

Found Nemo

2009-03-29T21:07:00.010+08:00

Want to know how I got to eat that delicious dish up there? I got to traipse off on a wonderful adventure... went to the Pasil Fish Market on a writing assignment just yesterday. Why? Into each life, a little adventure must fall. Because it's there. Because my editrix said so. Because it was going to be fun! And finally, because apparently, it's the biggest wet market this side of the Visayas.

That's part of the Pasil market (is it obvious that I took the shot in a hurry? Kept thinking someone would snatch my camera). It doesn't look huge here, but it is. It extends for an entire block and there is fish, fish, fish.

If you're not Filipino and have no idea what a wet market is, well... it's wet. And it's a market. Also, it has the advantage of being - for want of a better word - filthy. Yep. It's mucky, stinky, everyone yells and hawks their wares and the old women sit hunched beside their pails smoking to high heaven. Men walk by, pushing carts filled with fish and bits of god knows what. This fish market is the market to beat all fish markets. I'd never seen anything like it in my whole life and I don't think I ever will again. I really did have fun and lots of mixed emotions: I was grossed out, entranced, amused, enthusiastic, fearful (I stuck out like a sore thumb, of course - no one else was toting a pink digital camera), aghast, etc.

I took a bajillion pictures, but there's way too many to share on here. So you can either buy next Thursday's (April 2) edition of Cebu Daily News - buy it, you cheapskates!!! - or, check the rest out on my Facebook. I made it public, just for you.

Below, sights for sore eyes as a teaser. If your eyes aren't sore now, they might be when you're done:

Eels. Unceremoniously dumped on a random table, dripping wet. You know you want to stroke them lovingly and feel the slime. The fun! I saw gigantic squids whose heads were the size of mine. But I couldn't convince anyone to hold it up, sadly.

A bunch of decapitated tuna fish. Fresh meat, baby. You know you want some of that. Fat-free and healthy. Stinking to high heaven, waiting for your loving touch. Mmmm.

Because I love you to pieces, I saved one of the best for last...

I warned you. The glories in your backyard! The utter gristle and gore. That stingray's liver was massive. I have a video of it, but decided not to post. You can click this to view it if you wanna though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5ksTag66R0. You're welcome.

I didn't find Nemo. I did find a plethora of huge fish, more memories to file away, and bragging rights to having visited the biggest wet market this side of the country and having lived to tell the tale.

I love my job.

Headline Porn

2009-03-29T20:29:00.004+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAH! Got greeted with this gem of a mini-blurb Saturday morning. Attention whoring, or genuine botched suicide? You decide. All I can say is: epic fail!

Have a wonderful day, and try to plan your death a little better. It's so embarrassing when it doesn't happen... people end up asking you why you tried and everything. Explanations abound, you make up stories, "the train didn't hit me hard enough," etc. Better off dead.

The Angels are Singing

2009-03-22T23:33:00.005+08:00

It's here! As promised. Isn't it glorious? It's not American Standard, it's Royal Tern. Be thankful I didn't get one that's currently in use. I'm not exactly sure what to call this, but it's better than a Moroccan toilet. Also a few steps up from a hole in the ground. A glorified hole in the ground, really. We used to call it "hell on earth." The memories.

This is the kind of toilet that builds character. I've always maintained it takes sheer guts to get up, look down at the mess you've made and make it go away. No cowardly hitting of the flush, trying not to think of what's going down into the pipes. This is straight-up looking into the jaws of hell itself. I think we try to avoid looking at our own sordid creations, really. This applies outside of the toilet too.

I'm not sure why I'm talking about toilets. Except that it's 1AM and I'm woozy. And that I'm afraid if I don't blog about it now, I never will. Excuse its beauty.

Esto es Maravilloso

2009-03-22T22:28:00.004+08:00

I spoke too soon! Yahoo Music has upped a notch in my estimation. This is for Illi. Always and forever. Cringe-inducing... but I will never regret this. Ay, vamos!

I'm back in the city of smokers, pollution, scam artists and Ayala land developers so have turned to the internet to dull the pain. Kinda obvious, si?

Girls Aloud

2009-03-22T22:14:00.004+08:00

From the dusty bins of memory lane. Didikeyted to Chucky. We never got to do a video in the toilet, did we?

In retrospect... they need a stylista. I'm just saying! I think these girls were the 90's version of the Pussycat Dolls. When you put it that way, PCD totally inhabits the realm of superskank. Speaking of which, here's another possible predecessor:

Solid Harmonie. Is it me, or is this desperately trying to be ethnically correct? Token blonde girl much? I'm not sure if stylists were all the rage, but you know this is the kind of trainwreck you can't erase from your past. God, I love the 90's. (Is that so wrong? It's hypothetical. I don't wanna hear it!)

Speaking of which, why can I find all these obscure videos and never find one particular video for 98 Degrees without YouTube saying it's not available in my country? Such racism. Shocking.

Feeling filthy from all the girlband pop? Allow the ethereal Lisa Loeb to scrub away the uncleanness with some relatively sincere, angsty pop.

Home of the Five Senses

2009-03-20T14:56:00.004+08:00

Went for pan de sal at 6AM - driving my way through the city. Passed through Hibbard Avenue, the street that runs through the heart of Silliman University, legendary alma mater of many, me included. It's the smell, I realize. The sickly sweet stench of decaying leaves and acacia blossoms, that brings back the memory of school days past. I've missed this. I've longed for it, without really realizing it - I realize this in the rush of wind and humming silence that somehow pervades everything this early in the morning. Everyone is waking up, and the street is bare, except for the occasional jogger. I inhale the scent of my youth, and relive the days when I was young and worry-free, and waking up early was a drag. It meant elementary school and dragging textbooks to work every day, and then the jungle gym after school with a little chinese garter thrown in. It was pressing my uniform, lacing up my shoes, hiking up my socks, bringing my notes with me, slaving through chemistry and math and the sheer oppression of the ignorance that is high school. It was driving with my hair wet to a 7AM college class. It's going for a pan de sal run in the morning, now that I'm older and buying my own bread. But even through that, life was, is beautiful. The acacia trees know this.

And then it's the pan de sal itself, really. I pull over, park my motorcycle and order a bag of steaming hot bread, and it's delicious. I see the steam, curling up in white smoky tendrils, and I know when I sink my teeth into one of the hot bread buns, it will be delicous and my taste buds will thank me for my kindness. Because I have missed this. The pan de sal baker boys are hard at work kneading a table-full of bread dough. I can see them in the back room. I leave.

Kick start the motor. Head home. Decide to pass by the boulevard, a route I always follow when I'm home. Always a sight in the morning, the glittering strait and the huffing puffing joggers pass by. The dogs go on their morning walks and here and there a solitary motorcab trolls for passengers. I pass the closed doors of Chin Loong, and remember. I remember the night we decide to eat out as a family, and end up waiting for two hours just to get fed. I thought I was going to eat the tablecloth. I see the SuperFerry ship, docked, waiting. I watch the waves crash against the sides of the walk. I see the sun, and feel its kiss - it's gentle, a caress. Nothing like the searing embrace of high noon. It's only morning.

Another morning spent in the crazy hubbub of the tabo in Piapi. Women hawking eggplants, cabbages, corn. Bananas. Shellfish, slowly dying. Crabs, their pincers tied up - I wonder what they feel when they know today might be ended inside the confines of a pot? And then I brush it off because we must eat to live. The flies scatter, rattled by the woman's plastic switch, away from the wide-open eyes of fish that were swimming happily just hours ago. It's death. And life. And I drink it all in and love it. My mother buys dried fish. There is no other experience quite like dried fish, and I realize it's been eons since I've had it. I squeal happily. We go through the stalls, and I feel transported - too much time spent in the artificial confines of a supermarket, where everything is wrapped and cut, and dried, and perma-sealed. It's too clean, somehow. Here, on a mild Wednesday morning, I hold hands with my mother and hunt for a bargain. I can taste tonight's adobong nukos already.

I'm home.

This is not American Standard

2009-03-20T14:42:00.002+08:00

This is a powerful machine that can suck down whatever you choose to give it - and it will be your good friend, especially after a hot and heavy date with your local Indian restaurant. I know they're using all sorts of things to show the powerful flush but it's still sorta sick to see everything going down the drain. Literally. Sorry to ruin your breakfast.

Which reminds me - I really need to toddle out and get a photo of the toilet that builds character - American Standard flush-it-yourself! Only found in the third world. I'm making a mental note. And then it'll get unleashed upon the world.

Bottoms Up

2009-03-12T04:55:00.003+08:00

We are so famous. Didn't they make a chocolate bar out of us back in the day? I think it was called "Filipinos." I remember a bajillion people making a big-ass stink about it, my revered Jessica Zafra being one of them.

Apparently, they're not contented with that. We are now, officially... a drink:

I have no words.

Booksmut: the second time around

2009-03-12T04:44:00.004+08:00

This is a follow-up to an earlier post; just thought you'd love to see the books I was holding in all their glory. Seriously, the things you find. Treasures. How can my life have been summed up in just two titles? They read my mind. I feel tears welling up, I'm so emotional.

The Third Child

2009-03-09T18:47:00.003+08:00

I have a new child, age 2 weeks - meet Theodore Seville, my new handmaiden. Yes, I named him after the third Chipmunk. No, he isn't gay, but the word "handman" just doesn't have the same ring to it. Fine, I suppose I could call him my personal assistant.

Isn't he adorable? (He's the one in red.) Passed the Nikka Test™ with flying colors. I love him with all my heart. Allow me the gushing; I don't do it all the time anyway. Teddy S. is the reason I haven't blogged - I only do it whenever I go online, and I do go online with his help. The only thing I can't do so far is blog. Boo. I'm still figuring out that part.

No one understands why I name my things. I don't name everything; just the ones that really go the distance. For ince, Narcissus takes care of making sure I don't forget the fun parts of my life; Mnemosyne is literally music to my ears; and Teddy keeps me connected to the world. You gotta have respect for these things. Show the love.

Fame Whores

2009-02-24T23:27:00.005+08:00

Fame whore
- noun. possible adjective.
- definition: someone who actively seeks popularity no matter the expense
- synonyms: Madonna, Paris Hilton

Was going through Cracked, one of my favorite sites, when I came across this article. Got me thinking. Why do people love fame so much? Almost everything we do is an attempt to be validated. Self-validation never counts, otherwise we never would use the word "validation." The intrinsic meaning of validation is to have someone else establish the fact that you are worth it.

(You don't validate your own school ID, do you? Didn't think so.)

Everyone's a fame whore these days. It's all a bid for 15 minutes of fame. This is why our Facebook accounts runneth over with idiotic pictures and stupid captions, and every minute someone gets tagged in a photo. This is why YouTube is a hit, there are MySpace celebrities, and the current formula for fame is to show your tits, fall over or have a meltdown on David Letterman.

Even this blog is - to a certain extent - based on a need for validation, among other things (other things of course include annoying the whole world just because I can, and a valid reason to rescuscitate dead and moldering videos of the Backstreet Boys). This, by extension, means that anyone and everyone who has a blog needs validation. (And all those who don't have blogs just need access to the internet.) *Waits for the stoning to start*

Of course it's not all about blogs. It's mostly the people who feel the need to put on a little Beyonce and start videotaping themselves shaking their asses in the shower. It's stupid inbreds who think intentionally giving themselves paper cuts on their penises and have it caught on camera is actually worth seeing.That is the essence of a true famewhore. The question is: why?

1. Because life is like an eternal jaunt through high school and we all need to have a little acceptance and recognition.

2. Because of Hannah Montana and everyone's secret belief that their life is a movie, complete with original soundtrack by U2.

3. Because, to quote Cracked:

" Parents were either absent completely or, at best, emotionally distant dicks. It turns out the whole surge in aspirations for fame came right along with the explosion of single parents and "broken" homes. Only half of today's children live with their original two parents.

You can see how this sad mechanism works in the attention-starved mind. The kid is programmed by biology to love a parent, but the parent doesn't return the love. Fame lets them turn the tables on that arrangement. When you're famous, millions love you, but you don't even know their names. It's purely one-sided. They wait for hours in the cold for your autograph, you barely glance at them on the way to your limo. You get to take their love and wipe your ass with it, the same as your parents did to you. "

4. Because we can.

In closing, I leave you with Lily Allen's latest single: The Fear. It's appropriately fitting, somehow.

Booksmut

2009-02-17T01:25:00.003+08:00

Look what I found! Oh, the joy. Been a while since I've posted some piping hot Booksmut in this bloggie.

So, I had this surreptitiously taken while shuffling around the "cookery" section of Fully Booked (apparently one is not allowed to take pictures. The guy manning the stall told me so. But we took this anyway.). The one on my left says "Seductions of Rice." Quite apt, yes? Especially when paired together with the other gem of a book I'm holding. It's a tale of my life in two titles. Is there a carb-addicts anonymous out there? I think I need help.

Firing Squad?

2009-02-17T01:17:00.002+08:00

I suppose because dateless people on Valentine's Day are so horrible, they need to be shot. As everyone keeps reminding me, I no longer count as an honorary member because I up and got myself a case of the marrieds. Right. Alex points out that we aren't exactly sharing the same breathing space yet at the moment so technically speaking we couldn't go on a date.

Which is why I ended up being a fag hag par excellence last Saturday. Spent the afternoon on the sidelines, sour-graping and pointing out which people are gay. Or ugly. Or just not worth it. You know those couples where the girlfriend is clinging on limpet-like to her boyfriend who happens to be wearing a semi-tight pink polo shirt, and the kinda outfit that just screams he isn't straight? Dahling... your boyfriend. Is. Gay. Funny how many couples actually fit that bill. And they were all walking by so giddy, holding bouquets. I felt like screaming. Yes, I was bitter, leave me alone.

Still, there's room for happy moments... because Chucky was in town for the weekend. Yay! That cheered me up a little. Would've been nice to spend a little more time together just gabbing, but oh well. I shan't complain about that!

Hope your day o' love went better than mine did. I would like to think you spent it in a seedy motel with chipped mirrors on the ceiling, followed by the walk of giddy shame at 3AM. Viva!

Bring Forth the Ark

2009-02-08T22:25:00.004+08:00

This page requires a higher version browser

It's raining sadness and worry for me right now because of reports that my beloved hometown is swimming with the fishes.

The great flood is washing away homes and rats, so my friends tell me. And that Lee Super Plaza (according to Dom's post) had to close at 5PM because the flood reached the counter?! This is not good. And I wish I could get in touch with my family but I can't because I don't even have a phone at the moment.

George reports there were rats the size of kittens hiding out under their car, trying to escape the flood. And that Buñao had water that was waist-deep, with diapers floating along and rats trying to keep on living. And that you can't see the benches in Freedome Park because it's submerged in water. I hope my family is okay.

Goodbye, Preciousss

2009-02-08T22:01:00.007+08:00

Sneaky little Hobbitses up and carried off my Motorola L6 last Thursday! The filthy little thieves! We hates them, we hates them!

Sadness. Take a moment and help me mourn the death of a very good tech friend.

My preciouss is now officially lossst and I'm going to have to go on another quest to find a replacement. I started the quest earlier this afternoon and I'm going nuts trying to choose. It's so hard.

This is like having a bad break-up... I've had that phone number since time immemorial. It's the first sim I bought, and it's been eight years - forcibly taken away and now I have to start fresh. I'm still in mourning, actually. The separation sucks and I hate the knowledge that I'll have to spam all of you and ask for your phone numbers again.

Maybe it's a good thing I have Facebook.

Yes, the universe has plans for everything and this is probably life's way of screaming at me to get a new phone and a new phone number instead of procrastinating.

So the question is: Globe, Smart, TM, Talk and Text, Sun? What's it going to be? I'm comfortable with Globe, I wouldn't touch Talk and Text though. My latest children have been screaming their choices and they're almost unanimously Globe. Should I still stay with them? Their customer service sucks, big time. Like really sucks. Don't call Globe customer service unless you want an excuse to blow your top and have your blood pressure regulated.

Having lost my cellphone (and, subsequently, the method by which the outside world contacts me) is strangely liberating. I'd forgotten what it was like to not be so readily available. I'm not very sure if I like it at the moment. The silence is deafening.

Headline Porn, Horrifically

2009-02-01T02:16:00.004+08:00

On a sobering note, this has been making people crazywild all last week - and the madness just keeps going strong. A call center supervisor was found dead, her body stuffed in two garbage bags. She'd been stabbed 24 times. Crimes of passion.

Really, the only reason it's struck such a note is because the "mastermind" used to work in the account I work for, so a lot of people know her and the emails have been flying. It's surreal. I knew that girl, even sent a kudos email for her. It's very weird to see someone I know dominating the headlines. While the crime is horrible and ghastly, seeing work colleagues make the headlines has also made me think - have I been in this city too long?

Ichthyo-Therapy

2009-02-01T01:48:00.005+08:00

I know, the fridge wasn't enough. Here's more craziness from the mecca you really need to visit. With lights!

Imagine the beauty of a single fat koi swimming (okay, wriggling in place) lazily around in that little tank right beside your laptop. It's powered by your laptop so you can't turn the thing off or the koi will die.

Don't let your koi die. It's therapeutic to watch fish. Remember the aquarium channel? This is loads more fun, I promise.

Just Chillin'

2009-02-01T01:33:00.005+08:00

The bliss! The utter bliss! See, this is why I love CD-R King. I hate the queue, but I love the produce. I was holding my breath and waiting for the day they start selling kitchen sinks you can connect to your PC via USB, and thought it was never gonna happen. But no. CD-R King did me one better and showed me that wishes do come true:

Ahahahahahahaah!!! Feast your eyes on "the only way to keep your drink cold while you're at your computer!" Yeah, because you can't be bothered to drag your lazy fat butt out of the chair to visit the fridge. This is the future... we're all going to be stuck in our chairs facing our PCs, and everything will be connected via USB.

Here's the inside of this modern-day miracle. Isn't it wonderful, technology nowadays? We've gone from placing bottles in a running stream, to iceboxes, to this. You know you want one. You know you do.

Headline Porn

2009-02-01T01:27:00.003+08:00

It's been a while since we've been graced by the yummy goodness of Headline Porn. I thought this was worth sharing, since I believe I lost hope when my favorite Ang Playboy just disappeared from the shelves... err... yeah, you know what I mean.

Isn't this a lovely example of responsible investigative journalism? Hataw is now my new Headline Porn source of choice. This is why we go to school! This is why we refuse to just pay for some fake-ass diploma. This type of hardcore journalism takes guts and dedication. Our future is bright.

Tissues are in the drawer to the right. Have fun.

Obamacized

2009-01-26T00:02:00.004+08:00

Remember that iconic Obama image? It's gone viral. Want to be an iconic image too? Go have your fun at the Obama icon generator. Here's mine:

Got Milk?

2009-01-25T23:31:00.003+08:00

Here's the training team's alpha she-male copping a self-feel while posing in front of a mysterious room at SM City, Cebu. Dreams may come true! Someday you and I might wake up and find Paulie doing the big bajiggle on the Ops floor. He says he's doing the hormones this year. I couldn't help myself.

Honestly, what goes on behind the blue shades? Are the lactating mothers whipping out their boobies and feeding the hungry? Strangely, we heard no baby-wailing. Shouldn't there be crying babies here? It's all very mysterious. I wanted to go in to see for myself, but sometimes the mysteries are better than reality.

Socially Yours

2009-01-25T22:08:00.004+08:00

I had an interesting conversation about sociopathic tendencies with my friends last week. Beneath our composed exteriors lie shades of sociopathy. I ended up wondering if that's what keeps us together as friends - our mutual dislike for society. Or the society we were in, really. (High School counts as a society.)

Oh, I'm not a sociopath. I just have minor tendencies, I think. Being a full-fledged sociopath entails having absolutely no conscience, single-minded resolve to subdue, and the ability to lie your way through life. I can't lie to save my life, and have a guilt-complex to boot. Sociopaths do not like people - to them, people are instruments, means to an end. The thing is, sometimes people bring it on themselves. It's really easy not to like people, society as a whole.

How do you contain the bile, when you see the stupidity that goes on in Friendster, for one thing? I have always maintained my distance from that site, having seen countless millions go glazed-eyed and succumb to the glitter, and photo ops, and the stupid comments, the adding people you barely know.

This is why I like Facebook. It just doesn't feel the same. As elitist as that seems, Facebook feels like a site for people who have more to do than worry about testimonials and glittery looking profiles.

Furry and Yellow

2009-01-25T20:03:00.003+08:00

I've been watching the Australian Open since last week. Particularly blown away by the Venus Williams - Carla Suarez Navarro match. The Spaniard seriously took my breath away - at first because she was just so... un-telegenic. As unfair as that sounds, we have to face it. A lot of tennis players have the cuteness factor going on. Even Serena manages to sway our attention from her profile by wearing outlandish outfits. But Carla looked like a geek. The overbite, untamed curly hair, tennis outfit straight outta the eighties... makeover screaming to happen. And then I got past her looks, because with a backhand like hers, you just tend to forget how she looks and focus on how she plays. True talent. Her backhand is a bitch, and she can hit winners like no one's business.

She had the lean, athletic Venus running all over the court, making errors. It was like watching the tennis version of The Karate Kid. Absolutely amazing. I was clapping my ass off. It's not everyday you get to see Venus Williams get her ass handed to her, but Carla Suarez Navarro did it, and she did it well.

This is why I like tennis. Beneath its veneer of civilization, it's like watching two gladiators trying to kill each other. With a little yellow ball.

PS: Why is Federer so grim? The last time I saw him tripping on court, he was relaxed, happy and looking like a blast from the past at Wimbledon 2008. It's the Australian Open and he's not world number one anymore. Now he just looks so... tired. He needs a facial.

A Kiss Before Parting

2009-01-12T18:23:00.003+08:00

Here's what I was up to last Saturday - that's 24 hours of no sleep, thank you very much. Venue of choice: North Shore Sea Resort, Sogod, Cebu.

It's an acknowledgment party - my latest "children" have all grown up and are ready to get deployed on the floor, all by their lonesomes. Here they are going out with guns blazing, fueled by countless tequila shots and glasses of Red Horse.

And food. There was so. Much. Effing. Food. I felt like calling the multitudes and asking them to come on over and help snarfle up the eats because we were drowning in the munchies! That spread doesn't even include the 7 kilos of shells (I'm holding one of the shell inhabitants in my palm - yes, it looks grossly like a heart, and I popped it in my mouth after I took the picture, shells are so yummy), the huge punchbowl of kinilaw, and the other huge punchbowl of sea greens. Amazing.

I'm not a beachy person but it's 2009 and I think I really should quit being such a "No" person. I'm doing a Jim Carrey and saying yes to more things.

Clockwork Orange

2009-01-11T11:31:00.003+08:00

Lame, utterly useless story of the day: for some crazy reason I've been eating oranges for the past two weeks. Have to say they really are a great way to kick the nasty nasals - you know, when you've got that scratchy, drippy feeling in the back of your throat and the next day it turns into a runny nose. It's a newfound love! It's like opening your eyes and realizing that the thing you've ignored is actually a gem. Or something. Did that make any sense?

I've only just learned how to really, properly eat an orange. I never used to "eat" them, I'd just suck all the juice out and throw the pulp away. Looking back it's all so wasteful. I take pride in only leaving the rind and pips. They're really yummy. I'm having oranges in my future home 24/7; I think a fruit basket would be a colorful decoration. Not that I'm the best decorator on earth, but yeah.

So, an average orange has 62 calories and a ton of vitamins. Apparently you can burn of 62 calories just by sitting in a chair for 25 minutes. Yay!

Headline Porn

2009-01-11T09:26:00.003+08:00

What a glorious way to begin the year. Look what just dropped from the sky. Headline Porn coming up, piping hot and so effing fresh!

Isn't it wonderful how they just give you ointment for the sores? Why not give band-aids for open heart surgery? I love it. What we need are Haz-Mat suits and a few tons of Clorox, not to mention regular baths to clean this up. Not just ointment, sheesh.

Pancreas of Evil

2009-01-07T23:23:00.004+08:00

I know this is late but Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer, and he's had it for about a year now. Not Miss Vida Boheme! Miss Vida should not be going the way of Rudy Fernandez. Not the queen of the Manhattan Bohemes. Who else could feel like Miss Jayne Mansfield in a $50 broken down rattletrap of a car?

Click here to read Barbara Walter's interview with her. Seeing that fabulous self wasting away is just so sad. Wishing only good things for you, Miss Vida.

Lunchtime T & A

2009-01-04T18:37:00.003+08:00

It may sound prudish, but shouldn't shows like these be confined to off-peak hours when the children are sleeping? Yes, you say? Not in this country. This is the intro to Wowowee's Pera o Bayong segment, airing daily at high noon. Somehow, with the children at the dinner table, it just feels like we're exposing them to smut and soft-core porn too early in the day.

I sometimes feel like Wowowee should start handing out condoms, tissues and small sachets of Jergens to the audience. Because, y'know - it's just needed. It's lunchtime! Come and get your daily diet of tits and ass! Look at all the horny people in the audience. And the grandmas taking pictures. Why is no one protesting? I see children! This is family time!

It's like being at the Bikini Open with the family. Is anyone beyond feeling numb anymore?

If this is the mental diet we're feeding the children, woe betide the next generation. We'll end up raising a new order of STD-ridden, promiscuous whores. I know my generation was supposed to be the shocker of the millennium, but we're young innocent virgins compared to the future by-products of whoever watches this daily. This is just all sorts of wrong.

Blech

2009-01-04T18:13:00.005+08:00

Speaking of movies, I can't wait until that blasted MMFF is over and we're not force-fed stupid Tagalog flicks anymore.

The last time I watched a Tagalog flick was that Judy Ann-Piolo starrer, and I came out of it emotionally scarred. Never again. I can't do it. It's just... stupid. Spoonfed, sugary and stupid. Yes, we have some saving graces, but those are blips on a radar clogged with ridiculous wastes of time. Case in point: Ang Tanging Ina N'yong Lahat. Another case in point: Iskul Bukol. When will this insanity end? Do we really need to sit through another round of shitty, meaningless schlock with aging comedians who have the same schtick?

If it's not some "comedy" it's something about an ugly person who ultimately becomes beautiful and lives happily ever after. Why do ugly people never live happily ever after in Tagalog movies/soap operas? Ugly people are only good for a laugh. We are slaves to the Disney myth: everyone must be happy, pretty and start singing.

I don't see it as snobbery. It's not colonial mentality. It's about being entertained. Entertain me! I am the hungry blood-crazed mob, and Ayala Cinema 1 is my Colosseum. They make us pay through the nose to watch flicks, and I'd like to get my money's worth, thankyouverymuch. Yes, I know. But I am a brainwashed consumerist (not proud of it, not ashamed of it either) and I make no pretensions. I don't really need the "deep" movies, the elegiac, prosaic, noirish stories that are spun - although I do enjoy some of them. Movies are an escape from the dreariness of real life; I like to forget about reality for a while.

I've seen some really good Tagalog movies - the Brocka's, Bernal's, even the Vilma Santos as Darna movies... but lately, they're all cut out of the same cookie-cutter, boring, predictable mold. Which is why Tagalog flicks just don't do it for me.

Movie Checklist of '09

2009-01-04T17:59:00.002+08:00

You already know I've set aside some clams for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Seems like 2009 is going to be a banner year for great movies, because here's some of the potential hitz that are going to make me a lot poorer in the pocket this year:

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE

Since I'll pay to watch anything with a shirtless and wet Hugh Jackman, this is a no-brainer. The gift that just keeps on giving! Playing to type, Ryan Reynolds is in this too - as mouthy mercenary Deadpool. Plus it has Gambit! Gambit's in it! Gambit's in it! Here's me doing my little dance of joy. Finally. I'm a little disappointed that he isn't played by Josh Holloway, but I'll save the griping until after the movie.

Watchmen

I'm watching this, just because it looks so darned cool. Except for the guy with the cape, who looks sorta like Hawkeye which is kinda gay.

And then there's this - they really are milking the graphic novel for all it's worth, but another example of being too cool to miss out on.

There's so much more that'll be fun to watch: Revolutionary Road, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Terminator: Salvation, Australia (hey, Hugh Jackman's in it and he's shirtless again). Hooray for 2009!

Ear Candy

2009-01-04T01:10:00.002+08:00

Todays Singles

This'll be my travel soundtrack. Hate to say it, but some things shouldn't be postponed. If the weather cooperates, I really will have to drag my unwilling ass back to La Sugbu soon. Ah well.

At any rate - my Mnemosyne is currently chomping on Lady GaGa's Poker Face, and Taylor Swift's White Horse. The former has me dancing around, the latter has me dreamily staring out of the window at the pouring rain, it's so heart-rending.

Holding On

2009-01-03T23:21:00.004+08:00

Is there a cure? I don't want to do this! I have separation anxiety - if I were an editorial cartoon, I'd be a screaming little piglet with my nails (hooves?) dug into the island of Negros, kicking wildly while two hands drag me back to the island of Cebu.

I think this vacay has been way too long. I usually don't have a problem going back to big ol' La Sugbu, but it seems to be so hard right now. George says she gets it everytime she has to head back to work. I think it's because we end up getting used to life back home (it's way too easy!) and having to shift gears again and go back to what was is just so... tiresome.

Still, I have words of wisdom from Mishka, PS's resident socialite: just "drag yourself to the office and convince yourself that you love your job."

So that's what I'm going to do. Soon. I think.

The weather's certainly a great excuse to put it off. It's been so windy! It's dark and gloomy and I love it. I've always loved the cold. Georgie and I took a nice ambling walk through the streets of our hometown just a few hours ago. At 10PM. The great thing about Dumaguete is you can walk around at that time of night and not have people flagging you down, thinking you're prostitutes. It's also great to have relative peace from horny heckling taxi drivers. It's very relaxing. And therapeutic. Mostly because of the wind, really. And the fact that everyone's at home in bed watching Dyosa and other inane BS that gets shown on ABS-CBN.

I'm going to miss Dumaguete. I don't wanna goooo!

A Hairy New Year

2009-01-02T22:47:00.005+08:00

Bet you don't know that this guy played Johnny Cash. Joaquin Phoenix and all his hair would like to greet all of you a Happy 2009! I may not look like he does right now, but inside, I feel the way he looks. Gnarly to the maximum.

Way to go - this is my inspiration for getting thin. Even the hottest of the hot (okay, he wasn't that hot) can have slow days. Like this guy.

Maybe he's depressed?

Anyhoo, time for my yearly resolutions - which usually go down the "eff-it-all" drain - and of course top on the list is to.... drum roll... lose weight! Yes, I said this last year and I will say it every year because what the hey, it's one of the only things that I never manage to do. Not lose weight. Make resolutions, I mean. Wait, last year I resolved to eat nothing but oatmeal. That never came to fruition of course. There's a reason why oatmeal is the usual metaphor for the words "boring" and "bland". That's what it is!

But I'm learning. Goals must be SMART, after all:

S - specific
M - measurable
A - attainable
R - realistic
T - time-bound

With that in mind, I resolve to be at least 105 lbs. by April 2009 and hit the gym at least once a week. Lose the poundage! I will need to do this, or else it will be too late to stop mysefl from transmogrifying into Mrs. Potato Head.

Today's Jukebox Single

2008-12-30T22:57:00.003+08:00

Long Distance - Brandy

For the emotera in you. This one strikes a particularly ringing note with me. I think I like this one, for obvious reasons. Trite!

Alright, alright. I would like to dedicate this song to all the modern mail-order brides in the universe who spend most of their time in internet cafes. I am thinking of the one who modeled a leopard-print one-piece bathing suit in Aldea's internet cafe. (Chuck, thank you for the story, and the subsequently hilarious mental picture.) I'd also like to send this out to the 50-ish old lady I saw in Netfinity who was aiming the webcam at her cleavage. Happy New Year and best of luck!

Snorkk

2008-12-30T22:27:00.002+08:00

That's what I look like right now. Like a bloated, barrel-like... thing. I'm horrendous! Horrendous, I tell you. Someone has to cart me away to fat camp and make me sweat and toil. Shut up, I know I've been whining about the weight for ages. I seem to have literally gone hog wild this holiday season. Maybe I've been enjoying myself too much.

I keep saying this every year. Groan. Something has to give, seriously. I can't take being this fat anymore! Thank goodness there's only New Year's Eve to worry about and then it's back to the daily grind of work, pollution and self-imposed starvation - also known as my life in La Sugbu.

Narcissus

2008-12-25T18:12:00.003+08:00

I have a new child. It's metallic and pink. It's sleek and sexy. It fits in my pocket. I have named it Narcissus - after the egotistic, self-loving Greek youth who drowned himself because his reflection couldn't love him back. (Yes, it's nutty like that.) Guess what Narcissus does? I'll give you an Oreo cookie if you get it right.

People think it's pretentious (Illi) or stupid (Alex) to name one's things. True, I don't name everything in my closet, but I do name the ones that actually have to work for me. As in play me my music and take my pictures. I think they deserve names.

Wait, this isn't fair to my TV and my DVD player. What shall I name those two? They're always the traditionally forgotten ones, like the broom or the airconditioner. Maybe because they stay at home all the time and never really tag along with me?

UPDATE: I've decided to give it a last name, just to shake things up. Therefore from here on out, it shall be known as: Narcissus Bellavista. And here's the picture you wanted.

Happye Holidayes

2008-12-25T16:41:00.003+08:00

It's the holidays and I'm psyched to be out of the big steaming pot o' pollution also known as La Sugbu! Almost two whole weeks! Whee!

I'm back in my hometown of Dumaguete and so happy I could squeak. Actually, I think I have a few times. It's just so surprisingly good to be back. Something inside me has been clamoring for a taste of home - for the comfort food I love: my mom's squash con gata, mango ice cream sandwiches, buko pandan, macaroni salad, fried fish. Having fun eating bongkawil. For the activities I miss doing: going to the tabo just off the Provincial Hospital premises, buying 1/4 kilo of tomatoes for php8, buying a bunch of bananas for php22. Lee Super Plaza. Cang's. The 2-for-1 combos at the movies (right now I'm waiting for the Nights in Rodanthe/Star Wars: Clone Wars combo, it's coming soon at Ultra Vision). Driving around, using my brother's souped up motorbike. Wind in my face. 99% less smokers. Tempura nights. Sans Rival.

They aren't kidding when they say there's no place like home. For some reason, the longing for being home was sharper for me this year. It's good, getting to obey the call. Merry Christmas, everybody!

Aaah!

2008-12-13T21:13:00.002+08:00

How did I miss this?! How? How? I'm racking my brain for reasons and answers... how could I have missed Simple Plan's latest album singles? Wiki tells me it's because it's mostly webcast, and I usually am online on weekends only. Yay! New Simple Plan material! This actually, shockingly, makes me want to go out and buy their CD.

I have a soft spot in my heart for Simple Plan. Partly because I enjoy their music - be it punk boy adolescent ridiculousness, or philanthropically driven, I love Simple Plan. It's also partly because Pierre, the lead singer, reminds me of Alex. Yay, Simple Plan! Looks like I found my soundtrack of the day.

Diva la 90's

2008-12-13T20:28:00.005+08:00

Quelle surprise - in my quiet desperation I reached for some YouTube videos of vintage Whitney Houston before she turned into a crazy crack addict. And it worked! I'm a little bit happier now. I suppose this might be a temporary form of therapy.

Whitney Houston - It's Not Right But It's Okay
Uploaded by Dante35

I forgot how empowering Whitney used to be. Yes, it helps that a number of her hits have turned into gay anthems, which appeals to my inner fag hag. Beside her, Destiny's Child/Beyonce are second-rate, trying hard copycats. This is how it's done.

That just made sound like some superfierce queen idn't it? There's no hope for me, is there. Two snaps! Two snaps and an air kiss!

Some Mariah pre-boob implants and the ever-reliable Celine Dion also helped brighten my evening just a teeny bit. I love the nineties.

How did we go from the moving, stirring songs with meaning to the crap that just keeps playing on repeat these days? Songs used to have meaning. I'm a brainwashed consumerist, true - but the poppy "hitz" of yesteryear still hold a lot of substance even now, ten years later. This is it. Proof positive that we are all on the slow march downhill to Brain-dead City.

Not Connected

2008-12-13T18:00:00.006+08:00

I'm tired. I woke up today and realized that I'm tired. It's a bone-deep, crushing weariness - it's like I'm numb to everything around me. Nothing is stimulating. Even grocery shopping, which is normally one of my favored pick-me-up-cheer-me-up methods of therapy doesn't seem to work. I just brushed by people milling around today, busy buying Christmas gifts, and felt detached. Maybe it's the Christmas season. Maybe it's everything. Too much time in this city deadens the soul - there's no soul anywhere to be had. There's no air to breathe.

I can't wait to go on the holiday break. I'd like fresh air, clear skies and tempura nights again. I'd like to be surrounded by simplicity. I miss being young. I miss my friends. I miss the innocence of waking up and knowing your future was ahead of you.

Sometimes I feel I think too much and do too little. It's my nature - I look before I leap, and sometimes I spend too long looking. I really need to pull myself up by the bootstraps, give myself a kick in the bum region and start getting with the program.

Crystal Bowling

2008-12-10T00:05:00.002+08:00

Pacquiao will be President. This I foresee. His wondrous acts of punching and jabbing, and reputation as the giant-killer of boxing will propel him to the nation's highest honor: President. Leader of the not-so-free world. We elected an actor with not much brain power; we will elect a boxer with a little more brain power and lots of fighting power. He will punch through our problems. He will deliver us from oppression, depression, stagnation, corruption and sheer disinterest and apathy with his great uppercut!

Vote for Manny. You know it's going to happen. It's only a matter of time.

Now Playing

2008-12-08T12:29:00.004+08:00

Britney Spears - Circus
Looks like Britney Spears seems to be on her way to recovering herself after the magnificently humiliating trainwreck that's been her life for the past few years. I still remember her as a bald loony attacking a car with an umbrella, but if she continues to release more good videos, hopefully our memories will fade.

All that being said, my Mnemosyne has another new song to chew on, and I'll probably play this into oblivion. I wonder what she did to get herself back in shape, but I'd like to have whatever she's having.

Rihanna - Rehab
I am also currently nuts about Rihanna's latest single; while I have nothing against the song, is it me or is she ubiquitous? How did this happen? The video looks like a photoshoot for some glossy fashion rag. Not sure how I feel about Justine Timberlakey's posturing in this one. He is forever having to make up for his years in a boyband. Like it was a crime or something. Seriously, Timberlake. Stop it.

Shontelle - T-shirt
Lastly, Shontelle's single brings out the emotera in me. This one is sweet, and I really have done this quite a few times. Just wore one of Alex's old t-shirts when I'm missing him. I can literally swim in them, and I love the scent he leaves on his shirts. Lame-o! I'm laughing at myself and my ridiculousness. Still, every diva/brat needs a soundtrack of the week, n'est ce pas?

Anti-climax

2008-12-07T23:25:00.002+08:00

Yes, I saw the Twilight movie. Feedback, on Otap Vendored. Check it out now!

Introducing Otap

2008-12-07T21:38:00.003+08:00

Behold! Our little project is up and running - the Chucky/Illi/Nikka baby - Otap Vendored! Not much fanfare for now, it's still very raw, but it should become a monster all its own in due time. Be nice, folks. It really is still a baby.

Click the link to get otap vendored.

The Power of Cheap

2008-12-07T20:54:00.004+08:00

Visited CD-R King earlier, needed to get another bluetooth adapter. Looks like my store of choice is now everyone's store of choice. The moment we get wind of a place where everything can be had for much much less, everyone will flock to get their piece of the action.

It doesn't help matters that each CD-R King branch is so ridiculously small, it's the equivalent of a sardine can. Everyone's squashed in like a group of penny-pinching techie wannabes all clamoring for equipment. Yes, yes. Me included. I need my pennies.

Crowds tend to give me an almost uncontrollable urge to scream. Sometimes when I'm out on the weekends (bad idea, but I have no choice) and there's just way too many people, I have to quash an urge to give in to temporary insanity and just start screaming at everyone in the building. I have this fantasy of barreling through the crowds, swinging my handbag at everyone, making them scatter.

(Yes, I have weird fantasies. The above one ranks right beside my other fantasy of doing intricate ballet moves in front of all and sundry, during the customary 3PM prayer that always happens in the department stores. Everyone stops moving. I keep wondering what would happen if I suddenly pirouette and twirl around everyone on my tiptoes. Would they move? What happens if I suddenly grab a piece of merchandise and run away? Would they break tradition and run after me?)

Where was I? Oh yes, CD-R King. It has everything but the kitchen sink... in fact, if they had a kitchen sink that could be connected to your PC via USB, they would probably be selling it too. It's a playground. It's also very gosh-darned tight. They're making so much money, you'd think they could afford to actually expand. Oh wait, they expanded in the SM Branch. And they have the same ridiculous bottle-necked set-up, forcing everyone to step over each other just to get a number and wait their turn. It's a claustrophobic, cheap, irritating set-up that has to be changed! Damn you, CD-R King! Damn you for making me need you!

All the Wrong Reasons

2008-12-05T15:42:00.004+08:00

Word on the street is that the Bratz dolls have been shown the door. A very angry Mattel has protested because (the profits aren't theirs) of copyright infringement, and have succeeded in getting the manufacturers of Bratz to quit selling the popular dolls.

I'm personally wishing it was for all the right reasons, e.g. because Bratz dolls are major sluts and it's just wrong to have a five-year-old dressing up a little doll that looks like a tranny prostitute. The moment Bratz came onto the scene, you know teenage pregnancy was going to go into an upswing. If our generation was shocked at how big Barbie's tits were and how small her waist was, and what this could potentially do to the future of society, she was nothing compared to these dolls. Barbie was simply the suggestion of sexiness. Bratz are sex incarnate. Not just sex incarnate, they're anorexic, self-involved, trashtastic sex objects that look like they're all ready to drop it like its hot and show their stuff on the pole. And this is what we're letting the kids play with these days.

But no, it's all about corporate greed once again. Maybe copyrights were infringed, but it just smacks of jealousy and sour-graping to me.

Labor Pains

2008-12-01T21:42:00.002+08:00

I'm working on a new project with some of the people I hold most dear, and I couldn't be happier! It's going to be an insane mash-up of reviews and whatnot.

Keep checking back, we'll be putting it up very soon!

Co-Dependent

2008-12-01T18:09:00.002+08:00

So I finally finished Down and Dirty Pictures: Miramax, Sundance and the Rise of Independent Film. By Peter Biskind, it's a long, chaotic, sometimes over-the-top read, with lots of interesting characters, soundbites, and way too many interviews. The movie business really is all for show, where people just kiss in public and look like they're all friends. This book is about the fracas behind the scenes.

Straightaway the limelight is grabbed by the gigantic Harvey Weinstein - whom the author presents as a chain-smoking, gutter-mouthed businessman who clawed his way out of the relative nothingness of Queens, and who believes all the hubris he spews about himself. The non-confrontational, passive-aggressive Robert Redford takes another prime role in the book, and he is pilloried as an irresponsible diva of an artist. Then there's Quentin Tarantino, who comes off as the world's greatest KSP, and Matt Damon/Ben Affleck, Kevin Smith, Uma Thurman... it's a famous cast with Miramax and indie films to thank for making them famous.

Don't read the book if you want to keep your illusions. Peter Biskind rips the cover off the business of producing and promoting movies, and shows you how crappy it really is underneath. Now all I can think of whenever I watch movies is how many scenes got left on the cutting room floor, who's fault it is it if it's so crappy, who had to be wined and dined to actually get the picture promoted. It's a shady business, all of it.

Or maybe it's just because this is a story about putting indie films on the cultural and consumeristic road map. It's also a chronicle of how offbeat, crazy, weird movies became a staple of our movie-goers diet, how we went from the feel good movies with happy endings, courtesy of major film studios, to the dirty, realistic view of the indie film and how, in the end, indie film isn't nearly as independent as it professes to be.

Hello There

2008-11-30T00:58:00.003+08:00

You know Wolverine is a stocky, hairy, chain-smoking 5'3 X-man, right? Hollywood doesn't think so because Hugh Jackman is the guy who plays dear Logan on the silver screen. I initially protested this total bullshizz, because I'm a purist, the same way I protested Daniel Craig being a blonde Bond. And then I took a good look at the screen and all sound and fury faded away... sometimes, I'm easy like that.

Fishy!

2008-11-30T00:26:00.006+08:00

What would I do without Miss Fritz, work's busiest queen of spam? Every now and then he sends something that just refuses to be ignored.

Too much time on your hands + deep suspicion that the matinee idols of the Philippines are very very gay = this:

Hahahah! This is what you get when you introduce Photoshop to the Philippines. We will immediately begin to eviscerate everything in sight.

Bonus homo-points if you actually get what they mean by throwing in "Mang Jupiter".

(Click on the pictures for a larger version).

Potterwatch

2008-11-24T00:38:00.003+08:00

With all the latest hullaballoo over Twilight, how could this have been completely overlooked? This is looking good. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is my favorite in the entire series, so they better not eff this up or I'll throw my popcorn at the screen. Can't wait for July to happen.

Combat Boots and Literatura

2008-11-23T23:20:00.006+08:00

Congratulate me! I now own a pair of black, knee-high combat BlackNoire boots. No, I don't know when I'm ever going to wear them. They're the kind of Avril Lavigne-esque footwear you'd wear with a pink/black goth-punk outfit, or an extremely short schoolgirl skirt with a white shirt and tiny vest. Alex says they're not age-inappropriate, but I do have a feeling I'm skimming the line somehow. Still, a sale's a sale. And it helped give me a better Sunday than I usually have.

I've also gone on a book-bender and now have two books: Philippa Gregory's The Constant Princess, which is the tale of the great Queen Katherine of Aragon - famously displaced by Anne Boleyn, the most infamous homewrecker of her time. It's probably the prequel to The Other Boleyn Girl, as it's by the same author. I haven't read it yet, I'm just starting on my other acquisition: Down and Dirty Pictures - Miramax, Sundance and the Rise of Independent Film. So far it's pretty interesting (I'm only in Chapter 1!). Will post more excerpts later.

Am not very sure where all this blatant consumerism has led me, and have taken to wondering if it's my way of getting over my latest birthday. The last time I formally celebrated a birthday was when I was thirteen. Formally means guests were invited, I had a cake specially made for my day and my mom made spaghetti and invited the Sumalinog man to come over and scoop ice cream for all of us. I eschewed the notion of all parties since, deeming myself "grown up".

It's ironic how we can't wait to grow up, and when we do, we wish we hadn't. Now that I'm older, I find I want to be twelve again. Have someone make a cake for me, sing a song, invite people. Do the whole spaghetti and lechon thing. It gets lonely being away from my family, and it sucks that my birthday had to fall on a work day. One should never have to work on one's birthday.

Still it was surprisingly lovely, and I got a number of good wishes and greetings, for which I am quite grateful for. The trainers (Ellice) bought me a tiramisu cake, which Darwin wouldn't touch ("I'll never buy cake for anyone again," Ellice grumbled) and we had a nice old time talking about things adults do to one another (gee thanks, Chrizzy). My "kids" sang me a song and we all had ice cream for lunch, so as a whole it made me feel better.

It just reinforced my latest realization that at the end of the day, it's the people who matter who'll be there for you. I also got greetings from around the world, which was really quite touching. It's nice to feel cared about, si?

Witty, Somber and Fun

2008-11-23T21:48:00.008+08:00

There's always been something about Brit humor that appeals to me. It's quick, at times sarcastic, sometimes droll, and ultimately enough to make me roll on the floor laughing hysterically.

I have a new favorite movie - very 1994 of me, really - and it's British. Four Weddings and a Funeral, starring the always affable Hugh Grant who delivers wry little statements perfectly in whatever movie he plays. He's helped along by a very able ensemble cast who all have their little quirks but share a common bond: none of them are married, and all of them are good friends. They're married to each other, but they see so many others getting married, and it starts to chafe. They then start wondering if they'll ever have their own happy ending. They have hopes, yes:

Gareth:
A toast before we go into battle. True love. In whatever shape or form it may come. May we all in our dotage be proud to say, "I was adored once too."

Mostly they bitch at people in weddings.

Scarlett:
Oh, isn't she lovely!

Fiona:
Don't be ridiculous, Scarlett, she looks like a big meringue.

Directed by Mike Newell (Mona Lisa Smile) and written by Richard Curtis (Love, Actually), it's a gem I'm so happy to have discovered. It's a great movie - wonderful dialogue, touches of whimsy, a very emotional speech. It's like us at weddings: judgmental, emotional, full of self-doubt. I shed a few tears, but mostly developed a temporary six-pack from laughing so hard. Better late than never, I always say. And now for a proper touch of nostalgia, I present:

Love is all around - Wet Wet Wet

Ugh

2008-11-22T16:03:00.003+08:00

I'm trying to blog but I can't concentrate because the girl beside me has the worst possible breath on earth. Smells worse than a canal, it's giving me a headache. The only time I have some peace is when she shuts her mouth, which is rare because she's too busy giggling and laughing at whatever it is she's looking at.

So how does one actually tell someone else that her breath is the bane of humanity? Her boyfriend must really love her. I entertained a two-minute fantasy of turning to her and asking her not to breathe. I couldn't do it. I'm a coward. Sob.

Not too happy about this latest development. I only get to blog every so often because work has me tied up and I (still!) haven't adopted a laptop, so weekends are pretty much it for me these days. God, I'm so tired of internet cafes. They're veritable havens of filth sometimes. If it isn't some aged 50 year old wannabe mail-order-bride pointing a webcam down her saggy cleavage, it's this.

I think this is a sign. I need to get on the wireless bandwagon and stop torturing myself.

Seriously Lying

2008-11-20T13:19:00.001+08:00

It's that time of the year again - and yes, lying about my age is becoming more habit than inclination. I have days when I actually don't remember my real age. Which is good. I think.

Was planning to blog on about it, but don't quite have the time - I'm hopelessly busy whenever I have class. So, I would like to thank everyone who greeted me. I was touched that a number of you remembered. Much love to you all!

The Concerned Consumer

2008-11-16T07:38:00.003+08:00

Choices, choices. It seems like only yesterday I was salivating over the Asus EEE. This was a short-lived love affair that didn't stand the test of time. I came to my senses and realized the EEE just couldn't cut it, I felt like a child when I did the Nikka Test™ on it. Too small. And by the way it's a good thing I didn't buy it then, because what was about Php16,000 is now Php9,999. Poor thing is getting kicked to the curb.

With new models popping up every which way it's a veritable gadget buffet out there. It's getting harder and harder to just find a model and settle down. One needs a connoisseur, someone who can read specs and not go loopy (the way I do - I know, it's pathetic). So I dragged Ramon with me yesterday for a little expert advice.

Has anyone ever heard of Lenovo? Or MSI? Is it snobbery to want a laptop that with good name-brand recall?

Yes, I think buying a laptop is like getting married. I don't intend to just throw one away the moment I get bored with it. It's still good money, and the idea of disrespecting the hard work that goes into earning the money sticks in my craw. (Ellice, Paulie and Darwin are rolling their eyeballs at me right now, I can feel it). So, yes. I want something I can live with for maybe the next 3-4 years, or more.

I have my eye on a number of brands right now, and will need to think this over. I'm obsessed, like that. And I think I may name it Asphodel.

We Won!

2008-11-16T06:51:00.004+08:00

Here's a couple of homies just rollin along, having fun with slurpees and stuff. No, wait! This is the Democratic party a few hours after Obama's speech in Grant Park, Chicago.

Here's to a new America! Change has come.

Because We Only Have One

2008-11-16T06:46:00.001+08:00

Why do we never have commercials like this?

Everything here is boring, spoon-fed caca compared to the ad above. Brava, Australia.

Remember When?

2008-11-09T23:21:00.001+08:00

Got this from an e-mail, and just thought I'd share. Spoiler alert: non-native Cebuano speakers may not be able to relate. You've been warned.

---
(For the ones born in the 50's, 60's, 70's and early 80's)

First, some of us survived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne and drank San Miguel Beer while they carried us. While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine, ate linunod, balikutsa, bukhayo and didn't worry about diabetes.

Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints, ang uban kay duyan nga habol gihigtan ug pisi nga inigtabyog ug kusog ma pakong intawon ta sa bongbong.

We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang sa General Milling nga naa'y faded picture nga nag-salute), and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads, wala pa gyu'y break ang bisikleta.

As children, we would ride in hot un-airconditioned buses with wooden seats (Bisaya Bus nga pultahan puros ang kilid, Corominas Bus nga senimana ang brake), or cars with no airconditioning & no seat belts (karon kay Minibus na nga nindot kaayo ug sounds or Ceres Bus nga bugnaw ug aircon).

Riding on the back of a carabao on a breezy summer day was considered a treat. (karon; ang mga bata wala na kaila ug kalabaw.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT bottled mineral water sa Nature Spring or Viva, or Absolute Mineral water (usahay gani, straight from the faucet or poso or Tabay!)

We shared one soft drink bottle with four of our friends, and NO ONE actually died from this. Or contacted hepatitis.

We ate rice with star margarine, bahaw nga gibutangan ug asin ug mantika sa baboy, drank raw eggs straight from the shell, and drank sofdrinks with real sugar in it (dili diet coke or Pepsi Max), but we weren't sick or overweight kay......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, and get back when the streetlights came on. Syatong, Bato-Lata, Bagol, Dakop-Dakop, Tago-Tago, Ngita'g Kaka.

No one was able to reach us all day ( wala pa'y uso ang cellphone) . And yes, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our wooden trolleys (katong bearing ang ligid) or Karitong Kawayan nga karaang tsinilas ang giporma nga ligid and then ride down the street , wala ma'y gidungog nga naligsan atoh! After hitting the sidewalk or falling into a canal (sewage channel) a few times, we learned to solve the problem ourselves with our bare & dirty hands.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 100 channels on cable, no DVD movies, no surround stereo, no IPOD's, no cell phones, no computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, and no Friendsters. ........ ...WE HAD REAL FRIENDS and we went outside to actually talk and play with them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no stupid lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words..sakit bai ? pero kung kontra gani nimo ang imong kadula... singgitan lang dayon ug..Mayra,Gabaan!

We played marbles (jolen) in the dirt , washed our hands just a little and ate Pan Bahug-bahug & Bagumbayan (recycled bread man diay to kay wala mahalin!) We were not afraid of getting germs in our stomachs.

We had to live with homemade guns (giporma nga kahoy, gihigtan ug garter ug lastiko) , saplong , tirador ug uban pa nga pwedeng magkasakitay. Pero lingaw gihapon kaayo ang tanan. We made up games with sticks ( syatong ), and cans ( Bato-Lata )and although we were told they were dangerous, wala man gyud to'y actual nga nabuta bah, bukol lang nuon sa agtang naa.

We walked, rode bikes, or took tricycles to a friend's house and knocked on the door or batoon ug gagmay nga bato ang bungbong, or just yelled for them to jump out the window!

Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't pass had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Wala pa nang mga childhood depression ug damaged self esteem ek-ek ra na. Ang maglagot, pildi.

Ang mga Ginikanan naa ra sa daplin para motan-aw ra sa duwa sa mga bata, dili para manghilabot ug makig-away sa ubang parents.

That generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals ever! They are the CEO's, Engineers, Doctors and Military Generals of today.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had failure, success, and responsibility. We learned from our mistakes the hard way.

You might want to share this with others who've had the luck to grow up as real kids. We were lucky indeed. And if you like, forward it to your kids too, so they will know how brave their parents were.

It kind of makes you wanna go out and climb a tree, doesn't it?!

---

The fact that I can actually relate to some of this gives me a warm, happy feeling. And then I end up hating time for never stopping. Oh and I was aces at piko and chinese garter, thankyouverymuch.

I Have A Dream (Remix)

2008-11-06T13:03:00.004+08:00

Obama won!

I was literally glued to the boob tube yesterday, flipping madly between BBC and CNN - the polls, the pundits, the bitchfests. It feels almost too tired to even say it, but it was history in the making (they kept saying that).

I know it really was an historic event - first African-American in office - it felt strange to actually witness it. I was happy to be there to witness it live and in full color. I approved of McCain's concesion speech. To my mind, it was gracious and on point and actually a shade better than Obama's acceptance speech.

Was this how everyone felt during MLK's "I have a dream" speech? How can it be history when it's present-day? We could be preempting something. He was strangely grim. Almost as if something was weighing him down.

Happy it was Obama, though. Michelle Obama is still my hero. What happens to America will remain to be seen. Blingin' up the US of A, yo. Pimps n' Hoes. Bruthaz from otha muthaz. Giggle. I know, I know. It's not going to happen, the man is obviously educated, on target, the farthest thing from a hoodrat and his wife is not a shawty.

As for now, I'm riding the wave of euphoria.

All About Bajiggle

2008-11-02T10:42:00.003+08:00

One last video for today, I promise! I promise. YouTube has its claws in me and won't let go. Anyway.

Presenting one of the choicest cuts of Tropic Thunder: Alpa Chino's Booty Sweat clip. It gave me defined abs for five minutes, I was laughing so hard.

This is a true homage to our current love of tits and ass in all music videos. Seriously, all music videos look the same now. Throw in a couple of siliconed cleavage and butt implants and you've got a music video. This used to be an art form. Now it's just condoned porn.

And Then He Bites Her

2008-11-02T10:00:00.006+08:00

In keeping with my latest tradition of reading the book before watching the movie, I have currently finished horking up Twilight. Yes, the young adult novel by Stephenie Meyer that ostensibly took the reading public by storm in 2005. I know, was I under a rock in 2005? Why didn't I know about this? I've only just finished the first? Leave me alone.

So, I finished it in three hours. Then I put it down and started wishing the heroine was in front of me so I could slap her for being so incredibly silly.

I thought the whole premise was great, but the fact that the main heroine is 17 didn't sit well with me. What does anyone know about love in the time of cholera when one's 17? I can relate to wanting to be 17 forever. I can't relate to being sure about matters of the heart at that age. Yeah, maybe I'm the shallow one, whatever. I still don't see a 17-year-old making all the decisions the heroine does in the story.

I had definite pictures of the characters in my head, and now I'm wondering why they made Edward look like this in the movie:

He looks like he got attacked by two Ever Bilena salesladies. He probably also fell into a vat of Bench/Fix products while making his escape. This is not the Edward I had in mind. I'd rather take the shorter-haired brunette vampire. Anyway. Overall a light read, frothy fun and romantic walks in rain-wet forests, etc etc - it's like the love child of Sweet Valley High and R.L. Stine's Fear Street put together.

Now Playing

2008-11-02T09:42:00.005+08:00

Keeps Gettin Better - Christina Aguilera

Here's Xtina using a tube of pink lipstick with Keeps Getting Better. I'm not too sure what the video is about, but I'm going with the idea of picking her Halloween costume. Or something. Videos these days just don't make sense anymore.

The Catwoman thing freaks me out, and it's all pseudo-Colin Farrell in Minority Report, but I like the song and I feel like posting videos out the wazoo, so here you go.

But Will We Like It?

2008-11-02T09:32:00.002+08:00

I've always favored Dan Brown's Angels and Demons over The Da Vinci Code. I wanted a refund after seeing the movie they made out of the latter book. The bad news is, Tom Hanks still plays Robert Langdon in the movie. I hope they don't murder this one.

Mascot Porn™

2008-10-26T04:32:00.004+08:00

Another gift from the gods! I have no idea who this person is, but I did get permission to use this. Can you feel the love in the room? Look at those glistening eyes. That sated smile. He has nothing but love for the ubiquitous mime after a night of passion. What a bottom. Ronald McDonald is totally saying "Yeah, that's how it is."

Armageddon

2008-10-26T04:00:00.002+08:00

It's the end of the world as you know it.

Fertility! Hahahaha!

Fooled you. This is not by benefit of healthy sperm, much to your relief. I know Darwin actually shuddered when he saw this picture. It's simply a foreshadowing of what might be, with the help of Ellice's lucky travel pillow. Can you imagine? Of course it wasn't long before some of us had baby bump madness:

Behold, Miss Bugayong. She does look like such a pregnant lady in this one, doesn't she? Expectant and glowing. Such happiness. I saved the best for last, though:

Paulie, main pre-op princess of the tribe, gets in on the action. You're welcome.

Before/After

2008-10-26T03:20:00.003+08:00

File this under: When child actors grow up. Somehow it just seems wrong to see this guy's cleavage. Especially when he used to look like this:

It's Jonathan Lipnicki. The kid in Jerry Maguire and Stuart Little. Happy 18th.

Sasha Fierce?

2008-10-26T02:39:00.003+08:00

Beyonce now wants to be called Sasha Fierce. I'm sorry, hasn't this song-and-dance has been done before? Jennifer Lopez - J.Lo. Mariah Carey - Mimi. Most proficiently by Puff Daddy, who ended up so confused about what he wants to be called, he changes his name every week.

Besides, Sasha Fierce is way too transsexual. Why would anyone want to be called that? She sounds like a drag queen.

This reminds me of Chucky's tip #57: How to Make Your Own Drag Queen Name.

Steps:
1. Think of the name of a deceased pet.
2. Add the name of the street on which you live.
3. Voila!

Based on the above, my drag queen name would be Pam South Sea. Or technically I grew up in the Silliman Campus, so would that be Pam Campus? Not draggy enough. I used another road close to where I used to live.

I am... Pam Rovira.

The Cure to Sadness

2008-10-19T00:02:00.002+08:00

What is it with large people and falling on your ass? This stuff never gets old - I laughed so hard I nearly choked at this one.

Depressed? Lonely? Busy trying to hitch the hemp rope around your neck to your ceiling fan? Stop and press play. The world will be all right again.

Smooth and Silky

2008-10-18T21:43:00.002+08:00

Viva the mantyhose!

I know the ladyboys are crowing with delight. Gender equality! A new millennium! The age of mantyhose is dawning.

I'm all for innovation, but what would make a man want to wear pantyhose? I'd get it if he had excessive scarring and was incredibly vain. I believe the only time it's acceptable for a man to wear stockings is if it's on his head and he's robbing a bank.

True, they were the rage a long time ago - 14th century France, or some such. Men wore hose and white stockings. To war.

This takes the cake.

I'm not that comfortable with a lot of hair, but a nice delineation between the sexes is good for me, thank you. I thought they'd gone overboard with the female condom - guess I was wrong.

Want to get a gander at/buy/ogle/get mantyhose? Go here.

Role Models

2008-10-09T19:11:00.004+08:00

Caught a little Larry King Live earlier on CNN, and I have decided that Michelle Obama is my new hero. She's smart, savvy, calm under pressure, and she's a great dresser. I say vote Barack Obama! If a man like that can choose a woman like that, it shows he knows how to choose. I admire Michelle Obama for being different from Hilary Clinton, in that she doesn't seem politically hungry. She's just there for her man, but she has her own thing going on.

They keep comparing Barack Obama to JFK - the charisma, public speaking, it's like deja vu. True, the man is a sharp dresser and a great public speaker, but it's his wife who's got my attention ATM - she seems to be the complete anti-thesis of Jackie Kennedy. Yes, the Jackie-O lovers will probably stone me to death on this one, but she was more about looks, and anyone who's ok with a philandering husband loses points in my book. Michelle Obama looks like she won't put up with any sort of bullshit.

I can't wax too poetic since I've never been the most political person on earth - I could just be buying into the hype. Still, she certainly sounds like she knows what she's talking about. Way better than Sarah Palin, too.

When I grow up, I want to be Michelle Obama.