Introducing Horace

I would like to make a formal announcement - I have begotten myself with a new tech assistant and am saying goodbye to the sordid, rancid, chaotic world of internet cafes. Actually, that's the explanation for my silence. I got sick of internet cafes, decided to just let Theodore do my jid figure out how to mobile blog... there you go. But, no longer! Your favorite crazed, brainwashed consumerist has returned!!

Yes, I know, I'm late for the party as usual, but better late than never.

My birthday, Christmas, Labor Day, Easter and everything else present rolled into one - meet Horace.

The antithesis to everything I thought I would never get: a black, glossy Dell. Well, it won out over the others, and eventually won me over, considering the only reason I didn't really want to get a Dell was because I didn't like the logo. It grew on me.


Horace of course, will ensure my eventual addiction to Facebook, more ridiculous rants from this blog, and the return of the much suppressed Headline Porn!!! Yes!!

And no more watching wrinkly old women pushing down their blouses to show cleavage to random strangers in Europe. No more retards screaming down the house, playing God knows what. (is it me, or is the youth just getting stupider?)

Me is happy.