Very Bay-esque

People with photosensitive epilepsy really should avoid anything that has Michael Bay's name stamped on it. With Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, they'd be foaming at the mouth and spasming on the floor within ten minutes.

This movie had so much T&A I kept expecting the guys in the theater to whip out the tissue and Jergens sachets. You could practically hear them salivating. Then again, masturbatory fantasies take a backseat because it's interspersed with robot fight scenes, rogue butt-views, and all sorts of craziness. It's like they got a budget and just threw everything they wanted to into the movie. It's cinematic afritada with lots of cheese.

For all the insanity, I actually had a pretty good time. Kinda wondered why everyone looked like they were best friends with a spray tan bottle, though. And also wondered what in the heck the movie was about.

Its one saving grace? John Turturro.

Still, its demographic is obviously for people who'd rather not think but just sit back and be entertained (um, guilty!). So if you like large blasts and explosions and crazy music, and slow-mo running, this is the movie for you. Must admit though, I would've liked to have gotten to think a little. Most movies have that advantage, at least. For this one, you'll have to forget thinking, because it really doesn't make any sense at all. Boys' wet dreams rarely do, after all.