Tonight, Tonight

Tonight, I am amused. This note is brought to you by David Pomeranz, singing his heart out...followed by God knows who or what next the DJ is going to start murdering the airwaves with. Really, in the age of downloaded music and instant playlists, radio is arguably a dying dinosaur. Maybe. So actually giving it a listen now and then just feels so quaint. I feel a little bit younger again, the way it was when I'd fiddle with knobs and position the antenna just the right way to get the best reception, listening for a favorite song-of-the-moment, finger resting on the record button, to get it all on tape. I miss cassettes sometimes. Going on auto-scan seems empty, like most forms of instant gratification do, after a while.

Tonight, I am surrounded. By boys masquerading as men, gathered around the table in the living room. They each have their own laptops, and are yelling at each other, playing some online game I refuse to comprehend. Truly, you can take the man out of the internet cafe but you can't take the internet cafe out of the man. What is it with the yelling and screaming? Ridiculous...

Tonight, I am lonely. Too much time doing nothing does that to me. So I pursue distraction. I multi-task. I write. I listen to music. I observe the gaming man-boys, caught up in their cyberworld of war and death. It doesn't work. I'm still lonely. It's another Saturday night.

Tonight, I miss you more than ever.